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| Tue, 01-16-2007 - 1:01am |
Hello all,
I feel kind of silly asking this question, but judging by a quick look through the site, I think this is the place for good advice.
I am a late-20s guy who is beginning a relationship with a mid-to-late 20s woman. My girlfriend is not well-educated on sexual activities, has limited experience (one other boyfriend), and has never read any books/online sites. (I am the opposite.)
While in bed, I tend to "give" 90% of the time, and when she does give, she doesn't bring me to orgasm. (Note: she has never orgasmed with me or her previous boyfriend, but she has said that she enjoys manual and oral stimulation.)
I am not looking for sex - but I don't think it is too much to ask for her to spend some more time on me and, ideally, bring me to orgasm. I don't want to pressure her, but I have discussed the issue with her a bit.
Do you have any suggestions on how to politely change the balance and get her to bring me to orgasm? I don't want to "change" her, but if her idea of sexual contact revolves around me taking care of her and then us going to sleep...well, after 5 straight visits resulting in that outcome, I'm getting pretty frustrated.
Thanks!
-P
Edited 1/16/2007 9:38 am ET by public13

Hi public13, welcome!
Jill
Karla
Community Moderator, iVillage.com
Hi there!
Thank you both for your responses. They were very helpful - gave me more to think about, certainly.
To clarify, I was actually just talking about outercourse. She hasn't expressed any general aversion or disgust to it, but as you said, I suspect the best thing to do is just try for some more frank discussion of the matter...and then deciding how to proceed from there.
One quick follow-up question, also. The Joy of Sex series of books was mentioned - is that a good series for introducing someone to non-intercourse activities as well, or is there a better book for that?
Finally, thanks for the link to the men's board. I didn't even see that before, but I'm still glad I was able to post here.
Have a great week
P
Hi guy, welcome back!
Jill