The Allusive Orgasm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2007
The Allusive Orgasm
2
Thu, 03-01-2007 - 11:44am
I have been having sex for about 6 months now (with the same person), and still haven't had an orgasm. I was a virgin when we first had sex, and assumed that it would get better over time. But no. Most of the time, if he is playing with my clit during foreplay, I will get like this sorta good feeling for like an instant and then it just stops. After this I don't want to be touched, I stop lubricating, everything. Because of this I tend to avoid sex, it doesn't do much for me, and I don't want to get myself all worked up for nothing. And now its putting pressure on our relationship. Any tips or advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Thu, 03-01-2007 - 3:46pm

Hi starr88deesse, welcome!


      Jill

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 1:36pm

Please don't give up on sex!! If you've only been in it for 6 months, I would definitely not worry yet. Maybe he's just not the guy for you, someone will figure out how to push your buttons, but the thing to remember is that if you don't know what you like, he has absolutely no chance of figuring it out for you. Can you give yourself an orgasm while masturbating? Work on that as step one. Not all women have orgasms easily, and because yours is elusive so far is no reason to stop trying. Sex should be about more than the final outcome, it truly should be the journey, not the destination. If you love him, and enjoy being close with him, then just enjoy the time you spend together in bed having sex, foreplay, afterglow etc., and don't worry so much about whether or not you come. Is he performing oral sex on you? Is he doing it well, or rather in a way that pleases you? Have you tried toys? A vibrator can be very helpful as long as your man isn't intimidated by the prospect. He should be interested in pleasing you and you should be interested in pleasing him, but don't get hung up on whether or not you "finish" that will come in time within a loving relationship.

Good luck!!