Unable to Orgasm with Partner

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Unable to Orgasm with Partner
1
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 11:19am
I am a 22 yr old, healthy female who just recently had sex for the first time. My boyfriend was a virgin as well, and given both our inexperience and the fact that many women have a difficult time orgasming during intercourse, I'm not particularly concerned that I haven't been able to orgasm while we are having sex.
My concern, however, is that even when he stimulates me manually or orally, I still can not achieve orgasm. In fact, I feel very little sensation at all. I've been masturbating virtually every day since I was 17 and have always been able to achieve orgasm on my own. But I'm never able to orgasm at the hands (or mouth) of someone else. (Two prior boyfriends have also tried but to no avail.)
Is it possible that my masturbating has caused me to become desensitized to anything other than the specific way I touch myself? Or perhaps is it more phsycological--Am I stressed out by the knowledge that I've never been able to come with someone else before? (I happen to think it's probably a combination of the both--but I'm afraid it may be more of the former than the latter.)
I know that this problem is stressing my boyfriend out as well because he would really like to be able to give me the kind of pleasure that he gets when we have sex. I've told him not to worry about it much because I love the feeling of having our bodies come together as one even if I don't reach orgasm (which is the truth). But still I know he wishes he could bring me to orgasm. And I don't want him feeling inadequate over a problem that has more to do with me than him.
I really want to resolve this problem for us, so any advice you can give would be great.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 1:26pm

Hi glasgowgirl15, welcome!


      Jill