Too much or too liltte libido & confess

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2007
Too much or too liltte libido & confess
1
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 2:52pm

OK... this is a confession/ question/ and ranting... someone help! im sorry it got long, but please read.

I just turned 30, but this had been a problem for a while. my periods are all messed up... i have fibroids. I am not on any meds. Im sure i should go to the dr.... but i cant right now...

Every couple of months i go thru something i am ashamed of. I get really horney and i will look at porn or i will dream up something in my head. When my family is out of the house i will masturbate. The second i cum i feel great and then all of a sudden ... guilt. I want to cry and i hate myself. I love my hubby, we have fun together... he always makes sure i cum when we have sex. We will talk dirty use toys all that.... but usally our sex is at night when my son has gone to bed and usally we want to, but we are always so tired. my hubby doesnt know i look at porn. We use to watch together... but we stopped after we had our son.... we feel morally it is wrong... God dont like it.... of course watching it really does it for me.... i get so frustrated. i have prayed and cried to God to forgive me.. i tried to reason with myself it was ok as long as i imagined my hubby and no one else.

For months i would do fine.. then it would hit me again to go look.... it was like being possesed. Im a christian... and a woman.... why do i have this problem...

or i wouldnt have an urge for sex at all... it would not even cross my mind.... nothing... nata

then latly i have noticed ( this is gross) that when i first feel the urge to go poop i mean a urge that i dont need to go for a while, a small tingle in my back.... i start to think dirty thoughts. So im starting to wonder if my bowels are somehow triggering something in me. i know it is all connected. Today this happened... and iwent straight to the bathroom and after words i stopped having dirty thoughts.

Now back to God... He invented sex... he ment for it to be good and fun.. it was man that perverted it... just pray this all straightens out... if i can find this is a medical problem to start and i can control it... i will feel i can conquor the rest with Gods help

Please someone respond.. if you are doing this too, or have an idea about the problem.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 10:16pm

Hi lendingheart, welcome!


      Jill