Oh boy, I need help!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
Oh boy, I need help!!
4
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 11:36pm

Hi everyone!

Okay, so I am really embarrassed to be here but I am trying to fix my issue. I cannot seem to have sex. It hurts. Badly. I have had several different Dr. appts and physically I am fine. I can tolerate the normal spectulum just fine, doesn't bother me in the least. I have tried different positions, lubes, dildos ... nothing works, it all hurts. It just hurts. My boyfriend is a bit larger than the average bear at about 9.5'. I know this is odd but I soo wish he was smaller at this point. It only hurts the skin around the vaginal opening and it is usually a bit cut up and red the day after trying. Also, if something (fingers, a smaller dildo) gets inside, it feels weird, like not really pleasurable, maybe that will go away with time?? We have tried taking it as slow as humanly possible, use as much lube as we can and he is probably the most patient and loving person ever. Everything else in our relationship is great but this is starting to make us fall apart. We have great foreplay for sex but we both wish we could take it a step further. Honestly, I am desperate. Please help. He is the love of my life and I hate watching our relationship start to suffer ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 12:44am

Hi channy86, welcome!


      Jill

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 11:34am

Thanks!

We do use a ton of lube to try to help and he is always shaved or waxed. I guess he just likes it better.

I am a fairly small girl (20 years old and less than 100 lbs). I was previously suffering from anorexia and am not on birth control right now so we are just using condoms. Could it honestly just be our size difference??

Thanks for the sex therapist advice. I may just do that. I feel like I am running out of options. :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 3:01pm

Hi again hon,


      Jill

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2003
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 8:00pm
hi, i wonder if maybe you have vulvodynia (look it up) what you are descibing sounds like it- believe me- i have it... and even if it was a small penis- it would still hurt after sex... the problem with vulv. is that it is very mis-diagnosed... the doctors will make you feel like its all in your head... good luck