PLEASE help my lack of sexual desire

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2006
PLEASE help my lack of sexual desire
11
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 1:56am

Please, please help me. I am stuck in a miserable job that causes me huge stress on a lot of different fronts, from feeling inadequate in my job and undeserving of anything more, to long, exhausting hours.


I have an amazing, wonderful boyfriend whom I adore. I used to burn with sexual desire, so much so that I was never satisfied and would often wake in the night to masterbate or have sex. I went on the Nuvaring because condoms were very uncomfortable for me. Now, however, I have almost no interest in sex and rarely initiate it, have a hard time getting wet enough to keep going without help from artificial lubrication, and struggle to reach orgasm, if i get there at all.


None of this was a problem before I got this job or went on the ring, both of which events occurred around the same time, so I don't know which is the cause for my troubles. I am looking for a new position and plan on talking about changing BC this weekend with my gynecologist, but I wonder if anyone out there can offer me some help from someone who has battled this problem and won, and/or some advice on which new BC might help relieve these problems.


This combination of problems is making me miserable! I couldn't sleep tonight and wound up crying, so I decided to reach out to you. Please help me!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 12:19pm

Stress will always take its' toll on your sexual health.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2008
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 7:50pm

I wish I had an answer for you, but I'm sitting here in tears WITH you. I feel just about the same! I enjoy my job, but we're in a slow time of year so I sit there most of the day reading the news online and feel like I contribute NOTHING to society. I constantly think about my body and how I pray I was 10 lbs lighter and much more tone, it brings me down all the time. I have the most amazing husband but my lack of self-confidence and self-worth aren't making me seem that sexy to him anymore. So neither one of us tries anymore in the bedroom. I just went on the nuvaring two months ago after being on the same pill for 10 years, so I'm not sure if that is affecting my sexual desire.

Hang in there and hopefully things get better.
You aren't the only one!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 9:18pm

Huge hugs to you, too!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2008
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 10:13pm
Well, I know I had the self-esteem issues before I started Nuvaring (only 2 months on it now). I talked to my dr. a couple of years ago about low libido and the effects of BC. It's rough, but I've been working out a lot lately and hopefully start feeling better about myself!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Wed, 03-05-2008 - 7:57am

Have you thought of the mini-pill?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2006
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 12:40pm
I have never been on Nuva Ring so I can't speak from personal experience, but having read several posts off the birth control board, I will say that a lacking libido seems to be a common problem
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2006
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 11:49pm

I went to my gynecologist yesterday to discuss this. She said that the Nuvaring has the lowest rate of libido impact of all hormonal contraceptives, and that while I might possibly be one of the few who has a chemical-related problem, she really felt that the problem was stress.


Her prescription was to look for a new job and and to have my "partner wine and dine" me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 4:19pm

Is getting a new job going to be less stressful than dealing with the one you already have?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 4:10pm
Both might be the cause a bad job will defiantly do it. The nova ring may need lubrication whic you can find at any store or order online. I suggest finding the energy to get a better job, That will have long term negative health hazards and not help your relationship
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2007
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 9:37am
Increasing your sexual desire by...



Here's a good resources for you:
How to lose weight fast & look good naked in 2008

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