how to stay positive and live in today?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2010
how to stay positive and live in today?
Sat, 03-20-2010 - 7:06am


I'm new here. I'm 32, my husband has low sperm count and we did our 1st IVF this month- I did mini IVF which is less hormones for less eggs and they transfered 1 embryo on Monday, 5 days ago. That was a day 2 transfer. We have 5 frozen blastocysts  (all ICSI) from this cycle as well. Right now I'm just....waiting. I've also been doing acupuncture for about 6 months.

My question is how does everyone seem to stay so positive and hopeful? To be honest if this doesn't work part of me doesn't think I can go through this again? I feel like it has taken a serious toll on my body as well as my mental health - I'm a very emotional person to being with. It's killing me that I can't exercise right now, or have a drink! I feel like I have no outlet. My husband has only 2 blood relatives - his mom and his uncle and so I want to give him a child. But if that wasn't the case I feel like I would be done and try to adopt...maybe this is foolish, I'm just scared of what the future holds.

I hope this post does not upset anyone, thank you for letting me vent.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2008
Sat, 03-20-2010 - 8:03am

Hi Ava. I surely don't have an answer however I can tell you that you are way stronger then you can imagine, especially when it comes to infertility. If you read some of these woman tags, 3,4,5+ failed IVF's all ending in m/c or BFN and they are still positive, still moving forward

Kristy 33 & Healthy
DH 37 w/Horrible sperm (very low concentration with low motility, 0 morphology)
Married since 11/08 TTC since 12/08.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2010
Sat, 03-20-2010 - 9:09am

Hi Kristy,

Thank you so much for your reply. The nurse was very positive when she said there were 5 blasts so that did pick up my spirits. i'm not sure about the mini ivf yet. I'm not in love with the office we've been going to, I feel like I have to beg for information. my old boss is a gyno and I asked him to review the concept of mini ivf and he wasn't really sold. but I'll let you know. i don't think you ever could have gotten 18 blasts with mini, so think of it that way.

anyway thanks for the support and your reply. hope to hear good news from you as well.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 10:47pm
Ava- it's hard to stay positive
Ashley T.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2004
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 5:46pm


AS the other ladies have pointed out, yes, it can be hard, but you have the strength. During my time I try to find things that I enjoy that can assist taking my mind off. Read a book that has nothing to do with parenting or having babies. Plan events with friends. if you work, put extra effort into that. All of these things are what got me through. I was going really mad on Sunday...even asked DH to stop to get tests. Then I got mind back after a few min and said not to stop. I am too cheap :-)

I guess what I am saying is that you will have moments where you feel life is driving you mad....but think about to good outcome of the journey and remind yourself that you are strong an you can make it.

Just curious...I know very few places that are mini ivf...are you by any chance in the ST Louis area?

best of luck...and hang in there.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2010
Tue, 03-23-2010 - 6:09pm

hi everyone, sorry for the delayed reply. to be honest i'm new to these boards and couldn't locate my posting! thank you so much for all the replies. this morning i was an idiot and took a pregnnacy test (it's 8 days since fertilization) and it was negative of course but it's ok. i feel like i can pretty much conjure every symptom right now!

anyway, i am feeling a little better. it's hard not to worry that this won't work and i'll have to do it all again and i just don't know if i can. i feel like i've worked so hard in my life to preserve my mental health and I just don't like this stress. I know I must sound like such loser...

jggreyhndmom- i am actually in new york city. i'm not really sure i like the place i'm going, it's called new hope fertility. i am sure all the places are like factories but this one you barely see the doctor- besides the first day and the retrieval. the techs you encounter don't know anything and constantly give misinformation and i didn't discover the nurses until I was ready to have the retrieval. let me know if you have questions about it. I'm got 6 eggs and 5 fertilized, I'm 32. I have a history of endo and my husband had low counts. i think the regimen for hormones was much better but then I spoke to another GYN who I used to work with and he wasn't sold (sorry if I'm repeating myself from an earlier post).

Also- re; you story about leaving on sunday --one day I got so mad at the appointment that I left and forgot to have my sono after bloods. it was so embarassing because I got halfway to work and then I was like- oops, so I went back and had to explain to the receptionist. ha!

anyway I bookmarked this post so I think I can find it now. I'll definitely use the boards and look forward to hearing from you guys and wish all of us a calm and easy week if possible!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2010
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 10:29pm

Dear Ava

First off this is my time! Thanks for you original post about staying positive... We are starting our first IVF cycle on saturday... I am the problem in this case, I have had 2 ectopic pregnancies and the lost one ended in the loss of a tube and my other tube useless. I am 37 and my husband already has a child so, with that said I totally understand what you are saying about being or staying