2ww alone and want to cry...
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|Fri, 04-02-2010 - 6:20pm|
I am sorry for those who are tired of my random posts... maybe its that this whole group is feeling some of the things I feel, and its a safe place for me to have these emotional thoughts with some validation... I am trying so hard to stay calm and stress free right now. My ET was the 29th.. But its hard, my husband is deployed in the middle east right now, my family all live far away and my best friend became an enemy a few months ago... so now, moments like this, when i finally make it out of the house only to come home to my 2 big dogs who ate 4 boxes of sea salted dark caramel squares.... I got so mad... (1.. i cant believe they ate them, 2... its toxic it dogs, and 3.. now i had to clean it up..) I grabbed them and threw them in their kennel and then picked up all the cardboard... then i just sat on the floor and cried.. of course the side cramps havent gone away, so i cried about that too,.. and then i picked myself off the floor and boiled eggs and drank some grape juice. .
I am trying soo hard to remain stress free I am trying so hard to think positive... some people out there can have the strength to do this time and time again.. but i do not.. i really dont.. I have lost to many people over the last 3 years, and have seen so many people think its "cool if we got pregnant together" only to be attending their 1, 2nd baby showers. and now.. that same girl called me last night.. GUESS what girls.. She's late.. HOW COOL RIGHT!!! I normally just shrug it off or lite the candles and take a big bubble bath.. but can't not this time.. in my 2ww.. Maybe i should just sit in my bathtub, lite the candles... turn the lights off.. and listen to some music..and wrap myself in a blanket.. I am sorry this is such a downer post.. i would post this in a blog, but my family would read it and i would get ANOTHER phone call of.. SO.... how are you doing??? and they really dont want to know... HA HA
well i hope if anything some of you can relate to some of this.. and that the magic baby dust is still out there and that i am just overreacting cause hey its implantation day.. :)
ivf- scheduled end of march