2ww alone and want to cry...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
2ww alone and want to cry...
4
Fri, 04-02-2010 - 6:20pm

I am sorry for those who are tired of my random posts... maybe its that this whole group is feeling some of the things I feel, and its a safe place for me to have these emotional thoughts with some validation... I am trying so hard to stay calm and stress free right now. My ET was the 29th.. But its hard, my husband is deployed in the middle east right now, my family all live far away and my best friend became an enemy a few months ago... so now, moments like this, when i finally make it out of the house only to come home to my 2 big dogs who ate 4 boxes of sea salted dark caramel squares.... I got so mad... (1.. i cant believe they ate them, 2... its toxic it dogs, and 3.. now i had to clean it up..) I grabbed them and threw them in their kennel and then picked up all the cardboard... then i just sat on the floor and cried.. of course the side cramps havent gone away, so i cried about that too,.. and then i picked myself off the floor and boiled eggs and drank some grape juice. .

I am trying soo hard to remain stress free I am trying so hard to think positive... some people out there can have the strength to do this time and time again.. but i do not.. i really dont.. I have lost to many people over the last 3 years, and have seen so many people think its "cool if we got pregnant together" only to be attending their 1, 2nd baby showers. and now.. that same girl called me last night.. GUESS what girls.. She's late.. HOW COOL RIGHT!!! I normally just shrug it off or lite the candles and take a big bubble bath.. but can't not this time.. in my 2ww.. Maybe i should just sit in my bathtub, lite the candles... turn the lights off.. and listen to some music..and wrap myself in a blanket.. I am sorry this is such a downer post.. i would post this in a blog, but my family would read it and i would get ANOTHER phone call of.. SO.... how are you doing??? and they really dont want to know... HA HA

well i hope if anything some of you can relate to some of this.. and that the magic baby dust is still out there and that i am just overreacting cause hey its implantation day.. :)
thx.

me 30, dh 30
dh -lsc
ivf- scheduled end of march
me 30, dh 30 dh -lsc ivf- scheduled end of march
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Fri, 04-02-2010 - 10:08pm

Hi there


These boards are here for your random postings and we are here to give you support, so dont be sorry. :)


We all know how hard it is to attend baby showers and just wait for the day that it will be our turn.

Chris


Me, 38, dh, 35


3 IUI's - BFN


IVF #1 - Jan '08 - BFP - beautiful baby boy born 10/10/08


IVF cycle #2 - TTC

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Fri, 04-02-2010 - 10:24pm
Thank you so much Chris... I am currently unemployed and on spring break.. My first beta is on April 8th.. I finally got out yesterday and did some errands but was quickly tired so went home. Today I had a hair appointment with a friend so it was nice to see her and leave with a wonderful haircut.. and then I can home and the emotions just came pouring in... I am so glad my RE gave me this site as a tool for this process.. I could have never gotten through this much with these girls and their own stories. This is our first IVF, and with our savings, our last. I hate to say it, but unless we can pull some serious strings, it will be awhile before we continue. I used the last bit of our "reserve" for this procedure.
Thank you so much for the support... I am trying to find tools for cooping but realized most of those were ones you cant do while in this. I am hoping I get out of the funk soon so I can go back to relaxing and sure once I am back in school the time will go fast. Just got to make it to monday. :) Thank you again.
me 30, dh 30
dh -lsc
ivf- scheduled end of march
me 30, dh 30 dh -lsc ivf- scheduled end of march
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2008
Fri, 04-02-2010 - 11:26pm
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I can't imagine how hard all of that would be. I hope that that rest of your 2ww goes quickly.






Photobucket



Photobucket







iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2004
Sat, 04-03-2010 - 9:43am

Julie - it's COMPLETELY normal to be a bit emotional as you do this whole thing.