low sex drive

Avatar for nmariean
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
low sex drive
16
Thu, 04-03-2008 - 8:52pm
Hi everyone. I haven't posted on ivillage in a loooong time. Anyway, I don't know if this is the right board. I think I am suffereing from a low sex drive, actually, I know I am, but its taken a long time for me to admit it. I can honestly say that I WANT to have sex maybe once or twice a month. I'm in my late 20s, and take Ortho Cyclen, which I've taken before and didn't bother me. Overall I'm in good health. My husband really tries to please me and does sooo much to try to get me in the mood, but I jsut don't want to. I've tried buying sexy underwear and things like that to see if that helps but it doesn't. I have also suffered from depression in the past (2 years ago most recent- I went to a counselor and she said I was depressed, but I think I have depression, the disorder) I don;t want to take medication because I've heard that sexual side effects are very much a reality. I know that this is causing stress in my relationship, aside from other stress we have with other things. I posted a long time ago about my husband saying I wasn't affectionate enough, etc. I want to persue medical opinions, but I don't know where I should go first. A psychologist, or to get my hormone levels checked out. Thank You in advance.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
In reply to: nmariean
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 1:56am

A low libido could be anything, and while meds could help to decrease it further, that's not necessarily true.

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Avatar for nmariean
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
In reply to: nmariean
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 9:30pm
We are struggling with a rental property. that is the biggest problem. We have very bad tenants and are doing evictions for two of them. We are short on money every month although we have a lot of savings its a strain to have to put in extra $2,000 everymonth b/c we can't cash the rent money while they are in court, plus our morgage for the house we live in ($1500 plus bills).
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
In reply to: nmariean
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 8:12am

OUCH!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
In reply to: nmariean
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 2:56pm

Me too. I don't have half the stress that the OP has, but I still have a low sex drive. My favorite thing is to cuddle up next to Mr. Pooh and talk. I don't know what's wrong with me. You would think that, since we don't live together, we would be all over each other first chance we got.


I guess this is what 5 years together does.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
In reply to: nmariean
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 3:04pm
It makes you comfortable in your relationship.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
In reply to: nmariean
Wed, 04-16-2008 - 1:10am
So there's nothing wrong with me? 'Cause I used to get all hot & bothered at the idea of seeing him, and now I just want to put my head on his shoulder and be warm and loved. Not that there is anything wrong with that either, but it happens more often than not.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
In reply to: nmariean
Wed, 04-16-2008 - 8:42am
With as stressed as you have been, you need the comfort of human touch.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: nmariean
Wed, 04-16-2008 - 6:03pm
Although I'm now happily married and have been with my husband since September of '05, prior to that I was single and completely non-sexual for about six years. This was due to a really, really bad marriage and divorce that financially devastated me, and left me unwilling to interact with men for that period. However, when I started thinking about "getting back into the game," I started out by masturbating. Although men may find this hard to believe (since I've been told by my husband that men start out doing this as young boys), I hadn't ever gotten into masturbation until then, when I was 44. I can (and do) now give myself orgasms without all that much effort, and even when my husband and I have really good and
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: nmariean
Wed, 04-16-2008 - 7:20pm
I THINK YOU NEED TO GET THAT CHECKED OUT. YOUR HUSBAND IS THE ONE THAT IS SUFFERING, IF HE'S SUFFERING AT ALL. HE MAY BE GETTING IT FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE. I HOPE THAT THAT'S NOT THE CASE BUT A MAN IS NOT GOING TO WAIT TO LONG BEFORE HE HAS SOME LOVING. BUT THIS IS NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND SO HE MAY WAIT. I READ THAT YOU SAID YOU HAD A PROBLEM IN THE PAST ABOUT NOT BEING PASSIONATE ENOUGH. IF YOUR STILL MARRIED THAT'S A GOOD SIGN THAT HE REALLY LOVES YOU. WHATEVER THE CASE MAYBE ASK YOUR COUNSELOR WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. IF SHE CAN'T HELP YOU MAYBE CALL SUE JOHANSON ON THE OXYGEN CHANNEL MAYBE SHE COULD OFFER YOU SOME ADVICE AS TO WHAT TO DO. AT THIS AGE THIS IS THE BEST TIME TO HAVE SEX. THE 20'S AND 30'S ARE WHEN YOU HAVE THE BEST ORGASMS.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
In reply to: nmariean
Wed, 04-16-2008 - 8:50pm

WRONG!

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