low sex drive
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low sex drive
| Thu, 04-03-2008 - 8:52pm |
Hi everyone. I haven't posted on ivillage in a loooong time. Anyway, I don't know if this is the right board. I think I am suffereing from a low sex drive, actually, I know I am, but its taken a long time for me to admit it. I can honestly say that I WANT to have sex maybe once or twice a month. I'm in my late 20s, and take Ortho Cyclen, which I've taken before and didn't bother me. Overall I'm in good health. My husband really tries to please me and does sooo much to try to get me in the mood, but I jsut don't want to. I've tried buying sexy underwear and things like that to see if that helps but it doesn't. I have also suffered from depression in the past (2 years ago most recent- I went to a counselor and she said I was depressed, but I think I have depression, the disorder) I don;t want to take medication because I've heard that sexual side effects are very much a reality. I know that this is causing stress in my relationship, aside from other stress we have with other things. I posted a long time ago about my husband saying I wasn't affectionate enough, etc. I want to persue medical opinions, but I don't know where I should go first. A psychologist, or to get my hormone levels checked out. Thank You in advance.

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Seriously.
For me, it's reducing stress, so I've been relying a lot on my meditation podcasts.
I am totally baffled by this, and wonder if it is related to the relationship that I had in my past with a very abusive, married man.
I was in therapy for 8 years following my son's diagnosis of Nephrotic Syndrome, and finally after many years of single therapy, I finally made a "bold" move in my marriage, and rocked the boat. It woke up my husband, and we started going to therapy together. This is lasting over 4 years now. When we do talk about the lack of sex in our marriage, our therapist offers the practise of Sensei Focusing. I thought this was lovely. Just what I needed. But of course, to the husband, it was silly. But he tried, ONCE. That was almost 2 years ago. How far do I have to go out of my way to find something sexy to do, or try, and still be told by him, NO!! Sometimes it is yes, with tamer things, like a visit to "Lace" or something. It is usually a wild night after that. I would think that he would want to take me there more often. Ehe, Who the heck knows..........
Thanks to all who responded. i went to the doctor who gave me a list of therapists. She also wants me to try Wellbutrin. SHe said it it one of the few that does not cause sexual side effects (not that that would matter much). Anway, she also ordered some tests, and wants to check thyroid. It was low once but I really am not sure the realtionship between that and my problem. Jst wanted to give an update.
And BTW, my husband is not getting it from somewhere else. I have complete faith in him and know him well wnough to know that If he did not want me, he would have left by now :)
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