Having my own pitty party

Avatar for mjtudor
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Having my own pitty party
3
Sun, 05-09-2010 - 3:26pm

Today is tougher than I thought it would be. This cycle has *unofficially* failed. I go in for my 3rd beta tomorrow morning, but the HPT test this morning was negative, so I now my numbers are either still too low or at zero.


All week I kept telling myself that I was okay with this, but clearly I am not.  This whole thing sucks, and I am so angry with the whole situation. Why does anyone have to have difficulty having a baby?   


Maybe after ttc for 13+ years, I should just give up.  


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Sun, 05-09-2010 - 10:58pm

I'm so sorry to hear the bad news.

Avatar for mjtudor
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 3:53pm

Thanks for your kind words. I am better today; although, I did get the official word this afternoon to stop taking the meds and to come in for a failed IVF consultation.


My DH and I have been trying for 13+ years, but this was our first IVF cycle.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2007
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 9:44am

Hi, I am sorry to hear this cycle was a bust for you. It sucks, I know - I'm going to the clinic this afternoon and after the news we had yesterday, our expectation is very very low.

I hope you can find the strength somehow to keep going for what you want. It isn't easy, and financially it can be such a huge burden but all I can tell you is to try and find the things that make you happy in life, things that have nothing to do with children. Sometimes when we go through IVF its like having a mental filter on, and all you can see is the struggle, the hurt and everyone else having babies. Try to take off the filter, if you can, and see the good. It makes everything else a bit easier to bare.


Take care, Rossana

TTC#1 since Jul 2005


IVF #3 May 2010:

TTC#1 since Jul 2005; 3 IVF's, 5 IUIs and now making 1 beautiful baby!!!