Husband watching porn on internet

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2008
Husband watching porn on internet
48
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 1:08pm
I am a relatively open minded woman in my 40's. Had a successful career for 20 years, then left it and spent the last 4 years getting pregnant, nursing, getting pregnant AGAIN, nursing AGAIN! Wasn't rushing to have sex very often! Now the kids are 2 & 3.5 and my husband and I are having sex about once a week. I'm 5'6, 162lbs, started running and have been doing well. I have a way to go, but am beginning to get my groove back. Today, I was looking for a website in my history file and discovered that he's been on the internet looking at free porn sites. There is even a pay site where you can find people in your zip code who want to have sex!!! As far as i can tell, he hasn't signed up to get that service. So, is this the natural guy thing? Is he no longer interested in me because my body has been through hell for 4 years? Do I try having more sex with him to keep him? Is he going to leave me and my two babies for some younger tighter sexier version? Is he grossed out when he looks at me? Will he try to start a relationship with someone this way? I think all guys like porn, but when YOUR guy is doing it!!!!! Feeling really shocked, dejected!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2008
Sat, 08-09-2008 - 3:50pm
How do I get him to stop.... I have tried to tell him how I feel and it is disregarded by him. Isn't this disrespectful to my feelings??? HELP??!!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2006
Sat, 08-09-2008 - 7:17pm

I didn't get my husband to stop necessarily. He had to do it on his own because it was his problem. Which, like your husband, he didn't feel was a problem. My husband turned it around to seem as if it was "my problem". Very confusing and very hard to combat.


So what I did was very serious. I had to take my own personal inventory.


You see, I don't HAVE to be married to anyone. I didn't know about his porn use until after the vows, therefore, I married him under false pretense. You must remember, I asked him point blank and he told me that he did not use porn at all. I believed him because I believed he told the truth.


Therefore, because it caused me pain and it affected our sex life, I told him that he had to make a choice. Either me, or the porn. I explained what the Bible had to say. I also reminded him of his marriage vows to me in that he promised to "forsake all others". I told him that I felt like my husband was having an affair with these women because he was masturbating or fantasizing about them and I felt robbed.


I do love my husband, but I love myself too. I know what I can and can not live with. This is sobering, this type of decision.


I decided that I would not

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2008
Sat, 08-09-2008 - 8:54pm
I just want to say..."I couldn't agree anymore" to what you say.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Sun, 08-10-2008 - 3:40pm

Bless your heart.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Sun, 08-10-2008 - 3:42pm
You can't.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Sun, 08-10-2008 - 3:44pm
Actually, I find most of it laughable, and my first thought when I watch porn is, "Look how skinny they are!"

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 4:45am
Remember, it don't have to be a problem, to fantasize, it could be all about you. how one wishes his honey could be, not all the time, but only when it's desires.

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