DONE

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
DONE
18
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 1:38pm

Well its been a long roller coaster ride. Have been doing IVF cycles since May 2008 and now believe that I am officially DONE!!! Just got a BFN on my 6th full cycle. Don't think there is much more we can do. I am depleted emotionally and financially. Now going to try and enjoy life without kids. Now my new goal is to buy a new house in the next couple of years, maybe lose some weight. Who knows?
I will miss all my IVF buddies. I know a lot of you have moved on and are now preggers or possibly holding your little babies while you are reading this. Good Luck to all.

PS - if anyone is on FB they can look me up crazy_cwall@hotmail.com. I am gonna try and wean myself from all my IVF boards. A hard thing to do since they have been such a big part of my life for the past 2 years. I am on the computer all day and now need to find new websites to keep my occupied.

CHRIS

    DH 39 -Me 37 -  TTC 5yrs  -  Diminished Ovarian Reserve.  Test positive for ICC   ( Intracellular Cytokine ) .   Moved on to my 4th RE and now DX'd with PCOS.  Started Metformin Feb 11, 2010. 

3-IUI's w/clomid -  all BFN
IVF - 1A -  4/2008 - Canceled - IUI
 IVF -1B-  6/2008  -Canceled 
IVF -1C - Aug 2008  Antagonist protocol  --- BFN  
IVF # 2A - Oct/Nov 2008 -Canceled
IVF#2B - Jan/Feb 2009 -canceled turned into IUI -BFN
IVF # 2C -  March 2009 BFN
IVF # 3 - - Switching RE's.   Cycling JULY 09.  Antagon/Antagnoist protocol with estrogen priming.     Er July 10th 5 eggs retrieved 3 mature - 2 fert.   Embies stopped growing before 5dt.   
IVF#4 ---- Nov 2009---"7 retrieved 6 fertilized, transfered 8cell and 7 cell  - BFN
Jan 2010 - IUI - BFN
IVF #5 "another new RE (4th one) End of the road, no more after this, out of money and out of hope.   --  Triggered 4/1 @ that time had 13 follicles.  Went to ER and almost all follicles were gone.  RE said looked like my ovaries weren't even stimulated.  Turns out I ovulated early. :-(  nothing ever goes correclty.   Thankfully, we were able to get 4 mature eggs.  3 fertilized.    ---- BFN
IVF # 6 - JULY -2010 - Another BFN
AFTER 5 yrs TTC, 10 IVF cycles, 4 RE's, I AM DONE!!!!  
Just goes to show, IT doesn't work for everyone.




Edited 7/29/2010 7:01 pm ET by crazy08

----"Never give up on something that you can't stop thinking about every second of every day."----

Chris 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2007
In reply to: crazy08
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 2:24pm

oh Chris,


I'm sorry it didn't work out the way you have planned. He has a plan for you. Can't wait to see pics of the new house or hot bod! (or both) =)


Darla


PS- I saw that on the message board and wanted to reach in and hug you, and they should

   
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
In reply to: crazy08
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 3:03pm

Chris
I dont post very much but I see you on here alot always giving everyone advice and wishing them well or offering support in some way. You seem like an awesome person who would make a great mom. Maybe this is none of my business but have you ever considered donor eggs, embryo adoption or even regular adoption? I know all of this can be expensive and that might be a factor in your thoughts too.

My DH and did a split cycle using donor sperm this time. Even though it will be wonderful if we were able to conceive using his, we don't want to give up altogether. Once again I hope I am not too forward, as I understand this is a very personal issue. I know you have had more than your fair share of heartache and can't even imagine how you must feel right now. Please know that you will be in my prayers that you will find some peace in all of this.

As for enjoying life without kids I have quite a few couple friends who are not having kids by choice and are perfectly happy. It certainly is alot less stress and any parent of teenagers will tell you this. However I believe if you want to be a parent it will happen some way or another. IVF is not the only journey to parenthood. I know that all of this stuff is easier for me to say than for you to have to deal with but I believe it is true. You are not alone in this. Everyone loves to talk about there BFPs but there are lots of women out there who are not on these message boards or who drift away unnoticed from the MB's who are silently going through the same struggle. My SIL is one of them and she is at the same crossroads as you. Email me anytime if you wish.

I am sorry to ramble. but your story has touched my heart.

Wishing you all the very best!!!

xoxo Janie

IVF#1 March 2010 GonalF, Cetrotide, Menopur.
23 follicles 19 eggs 13 mature 7 fertilized 2 blasts none to freeze. No Pregnancy.
IVF#2 July 2010 Lupron Gonal F Menopur
IVF#1 March 2010 GonalF, Cetrotide, Menopur.
23 follicles 19 eggs 13 mature 7 fertilized 2 blasts none to freeze. No Pregnancy.
IVF#2 July 2010 Lupron Gonal F Menopur
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2008
In reply to: crazy08
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 3:24pm

Sorry Chris,

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
In reply to: crazy08
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 3:59pm
(((HUGS))) Chris, I'm so sorry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
In reply to: crazy08
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 4:14pm

Chris ~


I am so sorry about your BFN!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2006
In reply to: crazy08
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 5:31pm

Chris,


I am so very sorry.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2005
In reply to: crazy08
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 6:21pm

I just logged on to see if you had posted anything about this last cycle. SHI*T Chris. I'm so incredibly sorry.

That being said - and not to be irritating - but if you ever want to talk donor anything or adoption I'm your gal. Probably won't be checking this board much for a while - are you on facebook? I really want to keep up with you.

xo,
Carrie

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
In reply to: crazy08
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 6:46pm

Hi Carrie,
How are you? I might still seek donor eggs but going to take a big break. Right now I think i am in a place I just want to move on but who knows how I will feel 6 months from now. the best part about donor eggs, my age doesn't matter as much. I am on FB. look me up crazy_cwall@hotmail.com.

CHRIS


----"Never give up on something that you can't stop thinking about every second of every day."----

Chris 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
In reply to: crazy08
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 6:51pm

Hi Janie,
I have thought about donor egg. Was already to do anonymous last year but DH didn't want to. Then was going to use my sister this past Feb, went to a new RE that said "Oh I know whats wrong with you, we can still use your eggs'. So tried 2 more cycles with my eggs and now out of money and still no BfP. Guess I am a little bitter about the whole thing. We would have had the money for anonymous last year. Oh well, can't change the past.

How is your cycle going?

CHRIS


----"Never give up on something that you can't stop thinking about every second of every day."----

Chris 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
In reply to: crazy08
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 6:54pm

Hi Darla,
How are you doing? How's your little baby?

I talked to the nurse today and she apologized for not calling me. I figure she was probably putting it off because she didn't want me bitching in her ear cause it didn't work again :-) Sure if it was a BFP she would have called me as soon as they got the results. O'well it really was no big deal seeing that I already new the results.

CHRIS


----"Never give up on something that you can't stop thinking about every second of every day."----

Chris 

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