DONE

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
DONE
18
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 1:38pm

Well its been a long roller coaster ride. Have been doing IVF cycles since May 2008 and now believe that I am officially DONE!!! Just got a BFN on my 6th full cycle. Don't think there is much more we can do. I am depleted emotionally and financially. Now going to try and enjoy life without kids. Now my new goal is to buy a new house in the next couple of years, maybe lose some weight. Who knows?
I will miss all my IVF buddies. I know a lot of you have moved on and are now preggers or possibly holding your little babies while you are reading this. Good Luck to all.

PS - if anyone is on FB they can look me up crazy_cwall@hotmail.com. I am gonna try and wean myself from all my IVF boards. A hard thing to do since they have been such a big part of my life for the past 2 years. I am on the computer all day and now need to find new websites to keep my occupied.

CHRIS

    DH 39 -Me 37 -  TTC 5yrs  -  Diminished Ovarian Reserve.  Test positive for ICC   ( Intracellular Cytokine ) .   Moved on to my 4th RE and now DX'd with PCOS.  Started Metformin Feb 11, 2010. 

3-IUI's w/clomid -  all BFN
IVF - 1A -  4/2008 - Canceled - IUI
 IVF -1B-  6/2008  -Canceled 
IVF -1C - Aug 2008  Antagonist protocol  --- BFN  
IVF # 2A - Oct/Nov 2008 -Canceled
IVF#2B - Jan/Feb 2009 -canceled turned into IUI -BFN
IVF # 2C -  March 2009 BFN
IVF # 3 - - Switching RE's.   Cycling JULY 09.  Antagon/Antagnoist protocol with estrogen priming.     Er July 10th 5 eggs retrieved 3 mature - 2 fert.   Embies stopped growing before 5dt.   
IVF#4 ---- Nov 2009---"7 retrieved 6 fertilized, transfered 8cell and 7 cell  - BFN
Jan 2010 - IUI - BFN
IVF #5 "another new RE (4th one) End of the road, no more after this, out of money and out of hope.   --  Triggered 4/1 @ that time had 13 follicles.  Went to ER and almost all follicles were gone.  RE said looked like my ovaries weren't even stimulated.  Turns out I ovulated early. :-(  nothing ever goes correclty.   Thankfully, we were able to get 4 mature eggs.  3 fertilized.    ---- BFN
IVF # 6 - JULY -2010 - Another BFN
AFTER 5 yrs TTC, 10 IVF cycles, 4 RE's, I AM DONE!!!!  
Just goes to show, IT doesn't work for everyone.




Edited 7/29/2010 7:01 pm ET by crazy08

----"Never give up on something that you can't stop thinking about every second of every day."----

Chris 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
In reply to: crazy08
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 5:06pm

I'm so sorry, Chris. I know you're trying to get away from the board and I'm a little late posting, but I just wanted you to know how much you will be missed. I still come to the boards to lurk, but mostly to see how you are doing. The cards fell all wrong for you and I hate that you have to hurt like this. When you are off losing your weight, buying a house, and finding much more exotic hobbies then hanging around here, don't forget how much we care =)


Lauren

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2005
In reply to: crazy08
Sun, 08-01-2010 - 3:28am

Chris,

I am really, really sorry that this last cycle didn't work. I hope you are doing ok. I really appreciated your thoughts and posts. Take care of yourself :)

Me-35 DH-37 Married since January 2009 and TTC our first child since then. Originally diagnosed with unexplained infertility. It has since been changed to unexplained ovarian dysfunction. IUI #1: July 2009?-BFN - This was my best cycle to date. 50 Clomid, 4 follicles, RE thought might result in twins. This was before we figured out that I have crappy eggs. IUI #2: November 2009?-BFN - Not as good as the other cycle, about the same results, same meds. Left ovary stops producing. IVF #1: February 2010 - BIG BFN Left ovary did not produce anything. Started on 150 Follistim, bumped to 300 in later days. Did 150 Menopur and low dose of Lupron. 4 eggs retrieved and fertilized with ISCI. Two were degenerative and two were immature, so nothing to transfer. Pretty much devastated. Get the donor talk from RE. Told my chances for conceiving with my own eggs at about 15% with best case scenario (assuming any useable eggs). IVF #2: May 2010-TBD Left ovary is working again. 300 Follistim, bumped to 450 Follistim in later days. 150 Menopur and low dose of Lupron. Hoping to get 7 follicles for retrieval and have one or two to work with. Retrieval 5/28 - Got three follicles, one fertilized and made it to day 5 blastocyst transfer. Transfer 6/2, BFP on 6/11, Beta 1 6/11 - 31, Beta 2 6/14 - 35, Beta 3 6/16 - 56, Beta 4 - 92

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
In reply to: crazy08
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 7:01pm

Chris-

During this difficult time, I will definitely be thinking and praying for you and DH. Your way will find you.

Keesha


Proud mom of Trevor and loving wife to Luke


Me (32)
DH (28)
Laparascopy 11/27 found endometriosis and scarred, blocked fallopian tubes
Laparascopy 7/18 removed fallopian tubes and polyp from uterus
TTC #2 through IVF #1 in Oct/Nov
DS conceived naturally in middle 20's Started Lupron 11/5/08 10 units AF won't show up...Why? Cuz of Big Ole' Cyst! Cyst GONE! Started stims 11/29 ER 12/11 ET 12/13 :^( Out of 9 eggs 2 fertilized normally

Keesha


Proud mom of Trevor and loving wife to Luke


Me (32)
DH (28)
Laparascopy 11/27 found endometriosis and scarred, blocked

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2006
In reply to: crazy08
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 7:06am

Dear Chris,


I am so sorry to hear your news. I know you've been a huge support to others here, even in just the six months I've been here, and I hope that you can find some support for yourself in a non-IVF place. Good luck.

Rebecca


2005 5 IUIs + stims---all BFN
4/06 IVF #1 BFN
8/06 FET #1 BFP. Twins born 4/07
1/10 IVF #2. BFP.

Rebecca


2005 5 IUIs + stims---all BFN
4/06 IVF #1 BFN
8/06 FET #1 BFP. Boy/girl twins 4/07
1/10 IVF #2. BFP. Lost baby 4/10 at 11 weeks.
7/10 IVF #3 . BFP. Baby #3 due 4/8/11.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
In reply to: crazy08
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 8:34pm

Chris
We were able to get 11 fertilized 6 with DH and 5 with the donor. The program I am in waits until to blast stage to do the transfer. I really am trying so hard to keep my feet on the floor and stay grounded. I will know on Sunday where we are at. My first IVF I had so many expectations and was really hopeful until I learned how up and down this process is. You see my signature, with all those eggs and we still ended up with nothing. In addition I have hypothyroid and a blood clotting disorder call mthfr. My sister has the same thing and has had 3 miscarriages already so I am a little concerned about that too.I am concerned my condition may interfere with implantation but I am getting the proper treatment for it short of taking a blood thinners. Right now I am just taking once a day baby aspirin. My husband and I have been together for 12 years and even though he would like to be able to use his, at this point he just wants to start a family any way we can.

You have every right to be bitter,I totally get that. Your right, focusing on the past doesn't do any good. Enjoy life! Save you money and focas on what you want in the future. Taking time off is a smart idea. When you go through something like this, you need a real break to get yourself back together so you can make make good clear choices. I have a feeling you will get there and don't let your clinic make you just another patient. I feel my doctor and office is very good but I find it easy to get lost in the shuffle if I don't speak up about my wants needs and concerns. Sometimes there is 15 -20 gals in a cycle so its almost inevitable.

Janie

IVF#1 March 2010 GonalF, Cetrotide, Menopur.
23 follicles 19 eggs 13 mature 7 fertilized 2 blasts none to freeze. No Pregnancy.
IVF#2 July 2010 Lupron Gonal F Menopur
IVF#1 March 2010 GonalF, Cetrotide, Menopur.
23 follicles 19 eggs 13 mature 7 fertilized 2 blasts none to freeze. No Pregnancy.
IVF#2 July 2010 Lupron Gonal F Menopur
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
In reply to: crazy08
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 7:02pm
Thanks Melissa!

CHRIS


----"Never give up on something that you can't stop thinking about every second of every day."----

Chris 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
In reply to: crazy08
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 6:59pm
Thanks so much Caryn. You have also been a big inspiration to a lot of gals on this board and the TTC board. Good Luck to you in the future. Give your baby a big huge hug.

CHRIS


----"Never give up on something that you can't stop thinking about every second of every day."----

Chris 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
In reply to: crazy08
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 6:56pm

Allison,
I am keeping all my crossable crossed for you. When are you gonna cycle again?

CHRIS


----"Never give up on something that you can't stop thinking about every second of every day."----

Chris 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
In reply to: crazy08
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 6:54pm

Hi Darla,
How are you doing? How's your little baby?

I talked to the nurse today and she apologized for not calling me. I figure she was probably putting it off because she didn't want me bitching in her ear cause it didn't work again :-) Sure if it was a BFP she would have called me as soon as they got the results. O'well it really was no big deal seeing that I already new the results.

CHRIS


----"Never give up on something that you can't stop thinking about every second of every day."----

Chris 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
In reply to: crazy08
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 6:51pm

Hi Janie,
I have thought about donor egg. Was already to do anonymous last year but DH didn't want to. Then was going to use my sister this past Feb, went to a new RE that said "Oh I know whats wrong with you, we can still use your eggs'. So tried 2 more cycles with my eggs and now out of money and still no BfP. Guess I am a little bitter about the whole thing. We would have had the money for anonymous last year. Oh well, can't change the past.

How is your cycle going?

CHRIS


----"Never give up on something that you can't stop thinking about every second of every day."----

Chris 

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