cant get aroused dont know i ever have?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2008
cant get aroused dont know i ever have?
15
Fri, 05-23-2008 - 6:53am

ok i am having all sorts of problems but looking at things from a stages point of view, i dont even know if i have ever been aroused or even what that is? during sex even after hubby and i spend ages on foreply i dont feel any differently than say now typing this out, i could get up at any point in time and walk away and carry on with life, it really wouldnt both me at all, i have heard that during arousal you feel a warmth and tingling sensation? no me, i dont feel anything at all, even during sex with him its purely the in and out of what hes doing till he orgasms and then thats it,


we have tried using vibs and toys etc but i can hardly even feel those, i have seen my doctor who being honest couldnt careless, and just passed me over to a sex therapist without even bothing to run some tests or even look to see if everything was ok, the therapy never worked due to her having us do sensate focus which i hated with a passion. we gave up after 6 months of that, due to us reporting back to her every week and her telling us "more of the same"


im really at a loss what to do, we have been married 25 yrs now and its always been this way, to be honest i didnt know that i was meant to have any other feelings/sensations etc etc until 4 yrs back when all this became a problem for us.


if anyone can help then i would be very grateful.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Sun, 05-25-2008 - 11:33am

It sounds like it could be more mental than physical.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2008
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 2:31pm
thanks for replying back, the nerve damage bit caught my attn, just what should it feel like then as i dont have any feeling from it other than to say i
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 2:52pm
Un-uh.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2008
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 3:55pm
ok so i get that pain feeling, i thought that there was something wrong with me from what others describe, that somehow its pleasurable? it certainly isnt that at all, more like having glass rubbed into it, so i have been avoiding it
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 5:13pm
Is there a possibility that you might be TOO sensitive?

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2008
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 5:15pm
i wouldnt know if i was or not and neither would my hubby as im the only parnter hes had
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 6:08pm

OK.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2008
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 2:17am
our sex life? hmmm well its more a caseof if hes wanting too, but we dont have 3 hrs to spare then he just does his thing, can last about 10 mins max then, but if he does the whole foreply thing for hrs on end, i stil dont orgasm, even with the toys involved, and that include a very strong vib called a magic wand. it makes no difference to me what we do its always the same result at the end of the day, i simply dont feel anything other that the in and out of sex
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 8:47pm

I can't believe no-one has asked you this..


Have you ever stimulated yourself to orgasm?

Missy
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2008
Thu, 05-29-2008 - 2:21am

ok til 4 yrs back i didnt even know that i was meant to orgasm i thought it was for men only!! so ok yes i have tried that by hand myself and him and we have done it for hrs at a time and i fal asleep, its boring!!! i dont feel anything at all from it and cant even get wet, even with the vibs, so no i have never in my life had a single orgasm, but thats the end thing we are aiming for but til i know if im aroused or not then whats the point of pushing further?


as for feeling any warm tingly feelings then no i dont have any of them at all.




Edited 5/29/2008 2:32 am ET by waitingforever2008

Pages