scared of losing virginity

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2008
scared of losing virginity
28
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 9:22pm
I'm a virgin. I'm really scared as to if it hurts a lot when that membrane is broken. And how long will the pain last? Won't it be a big wound? Does it bleed a lot? Can anyone one tell me? How can anyone not hate the person who's doing that? Can an anaesthetic or an analgesic gel help?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Fri, 06-06-2008 - 7:58am

These fears are telling you that you're not ready to have sex.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2008
Sat, 06-07-2008 - 8:28am
Thanks but I don't know how long to wait. I'm scared to even start an affair because the guy might think I'm stupid if I tell my fears. I have already cancelled one proposal just before wedding because he was telling me all the time that I was not mature enough. :-(
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Sat, 06-07-2008 - 10:19am

If you use tampons, your body is

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2008
Mon, 06-09-2008 - 9:45am
Thanks Tracy, I feel a little less tensed about the issue now. Perhaps it's a matter of love and trust. I'm thinking about using tampons. :-) Hope things will settle.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Mon, 06-09-2008 - 10:38am
It's the same discussion I have with my 15yo daughters.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2008
Thu, 06-12-2008 - 3:12pm

Losing your virginity can be a scary thought sometimes. There's a video by Tracey Cox all about that "First Time" that might help ease some of your fears. Her video is def. helpful and should tell you what to expect your first time.

"Your First Time with Tracey Cox": http://video.ivillage.com/player/?id=248037

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2008
Thu, 06-12-2008 - 9:43pm
U dont seem ready. U should wait.

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Avatar for filiasan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 6:39pm
Don't feel rushed to lose your virginity. I was 24 when I did. By that time, the sexual repression was causing me physical pain! But I'll tell you. Yes, it does hurt. Though it feels more like your breath has been taken from you, more than feeling like being split in two. Some girls are lucky and don't feel any pain (I knew one like this). No, there is not a lot of bleeding. And no, there won't be a big wound unless he's rough and forceful. The pain, btw, doesn't last too long. And if he's generous with foreplay, the pain will be minimized. Don't give it up to just anyone. He should at least be a good lover. My first was great in the sack, and I'm thankful for that. Otherwise, I wouldn't have developed a high sex drive.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2008
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 1:28pm
Thanks filiasan, well, This is something that comes up all the time- that you have to find the right person for it. The kind and considerate guys seem to be scarce! :-( I don't mind waiting if I meet such a person. ;-) The problem is how to track one. None have come in my radar range yet.
I've just had a blow with my parents for asking me if I don't get married! Easy for them to get on my back!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2008
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 1:35pm
Thanks tvchick87,
I wish I could get it surgically removed as she suggests but I wonder if it's available everywhere and if the medical personnel find it normal for someone to ask for it. Specially since, though I'm dead scared about the issue, there's no one around to make me lose it!
It was a helpful video, and I feel relieved that others also find these to be problems- so I'm not a nut as most people in my community would think if I voice it here. It's nice to have friends who I can talk to freely.

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