Low libido = Relationship in crisis
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|Wed, 04-21-2010 - 2:39pm|
I can really use some help.
I have struggled with a low libido my entire life. No, wait. I've struggled with a lack of desire after the initial excitement of a relationship has worn off (say, 3 months) AND a low libido. When I'm not in a relationship I could care less about sex, but when I first meet a guy I'm very interested temporarily then the newness wears off and I'm back to having no desire.
I have had my hormones checked (all good), tried going on and off different birth controls and anti depressants, tried exercise, tried relaxing, tried 'spicing it up'.. Nothing. I have a lot of negative feelings about sex and men and I strongly believe a lot of that is because I've been years being pressured to do something I had no desire to do and so I've come to resent it.
When my boyfriend and I do have sex it's good. It's pleasurable and I enjoy it and I know when he initiates that I will enjoy myself but I cannot get started *mentally*.
There is so much I could write on this but previous experience with asking for help on this issue has shown me that most people say I either need to find a different partner, accept it as who I am and deal with the consequences (give up), or go into therapy. Finding a new partner is not an option and trust me it doesn't help, I refuse to accept it and though it's discouraging the crap out of me I haven't given up yet, and I've tried therapy several times but it hasn't made a difference yet. So my main question is this: Where can I go? Are there support forums out there dedicated to this? No offense to iVillagers but I've always come to a dead end when asking for help in these forums also. :( (though I won't turn away any advice here either).