My H's best friend pased on 2-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2003
My H's best friend pased on 2-14
2
Thu, 03-17-2005 - 5:52pm

I have been lurking here off and on since Valentine's Day when my H's best friend lost his battle with leukemia.  H and I have known him for 25-30 years.  He lived with us for 8 months after we were married and I think of him as another brother.  H flew down to see him the day before he died.  We were worried he wouldn't get there in time, but he did and they had a great visit.


This past weekend we attended the memorial service and a celebratory party afterwards.  H's friend leaves a wife and a 9 yr old DD.  They have an incredible circle of friends that will help supprt them through this next year.  It was so heartwarming to see the caring and the connection of these friends.


My H is now grieving the loss of his best friend.  However he doesn't talk about it, doesn't want to share.  I KNOW his pain.  My best friend died 10 yrs ago, very suddenly.  I had not expereinced loss as an adult and her death hit me hard.  I ended up seeing a grief councelor for 6 months, which really helped.


So I have been reading here as a method of grieving as well as looking for clues how to help my H with his greif.


 

Sea
Sea
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2003
Fri, 03-18-2005 - 12:37am

Hello Sea.

I am so sorry for your and your DH's loss. I don't know if this will help, but I found out that my BIL, my DH's brother, started writing a journal of all his memories with Stephen. Stephen has a 3 yr old DD, who is not mine, and he wanted her to know what her Daddy was like. So maybe to get your DH to start writing the journal as a way to let out his emotions you could tell him that one day he could give the journal to his friend's DD. He could decide when the time would be right to give it to her and for the time being it would be his. That is the only private thing that I can think of that a man might want to do. I hope that helps. If I think of anything else I will post again.

Hang in there and take care of yourself and your DH.

Angie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2003
Fri, 03-18-2005 - 4:05pm

Angie-


What a wonderful idea! Thank you so much for the suggestion.

Sea