I'm new- I lost my baby on 3/10/05

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
I'm new- I lost my baby on 3/10/05
Sat, 03-19-2005 - 7:19pm
Hi, my name is Tiffany. I'm 23. My dh and I just had our first baby, a girl, Amber Jo, on 3/4/05. However, sometime that day probably, I suffered an "occult placental abruption", where the blood gets held in a pocket instead of making me bleed. The docs didn't know it happened. I was ready to push, when all of a sudden I was getting an emergency c-section. My baby was born not living, but they tried for 15 minutes and brought her back to life. After a few days at University of Michigan Mott Childrens Hospital, they found that Amber was totally brain damaged, along with her kidneys and liver. The whole time she was with us, she didn't open her eyes, cry or make any sort of sound, or move any part of her body. We decided to discontinue medical support, and she passed away in our arms on 3/10/05. I thought it would be easier to deal with knowing that she is better off now than she would've been, but I was so wrong. I break down everyday. My husband is back at work now and I still have four weeks left. I hate being alone because all the demons in my head come out. But I don't want to talk to or see anyone except for my husband and my baby girl. Well, I just wanted to introduce myself, because I think I'll be spending quited a bit of time here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Sat, 03-19-2005 - 8:10pm

Tiffany, your story just breaks my heart.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 3:47am

There are no words but I still offer my deepest condolences and support that you and your husband made the best decision, although I'm sure you find yourself questioning that.

I cannot begin to imagine how you're feeling but do know the desire to isolate yourself from everyone except the one person you know can even begin to relate to how you're feeling.

Thinking of you both.

A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
A woman must do what he can't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2005
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 2:28pm
Hi Tiffany, my name is Angie. I am so sorry for you loss. I to lost a daughter. SHe was 3 months and 5 days. She closed her eyes and never woke from her nap. SIDS took my daughter from me. I know how you are feeling in the respects of losing a child. It has been 15 months since Taylor's passing and there is not a day that goes by that I do not want her back in my arms. I returned to work 2 weeks after Taylor's death, and it helped me in some ways, and hurt more in others. If you want to chat sometime please email me. You and family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Taylor Jalene
7-14-03 to 10-19-03
Some only Dream of Angels...
I held mine in my Arms...