Don't know where to go...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Don't know where to go...
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 4:41pm

My mother, my best friend passed away on February 4th - a little over six weeks ago. My life was a train wreck before she died. She was my main source of strength and support through an extremely ugly divorce. My teenage son abandoned me during the divorce and I was just starting to be able to deal with that loss. Now Mom's gone and I feel all alone, even when I'm with friends or other family members. I have a young daughter to take care of, and I need to keep it together.

I don't know where to turn. I don't have a lot of time, being a single mom and now helping my dad manage his affairs. I can't focus long enough to figure out what to do. I used to call her when I felt this way. Where do I even begin? The road to healing is the only option for me. I just need someone to point the way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Tue, 03-22-2005 - 11:21am
I understand the hard time you are having. Life can be so mean sometimes. It all kinda just piles on us all at once. I dont really know where the first step is as I dont think I have really taken it yet. I have just been hiding what I feel I guess. I try not to but there is so much else going on that it is hard for me to deal. I dad passed away on 2/22/05 and he was my best friend. How old is your daughter? I have a 6 yr old son, Jeremy and an 8 month old daughter. I know how hard it is taking care of kids when you can barly pull yourself out of bed. I know it gets better though. It is getting better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Tue, 03-22-2005 - 12:43pm

My sympathies on your loss. I lost my husband two years ago tomorrow and the grief does fade but is replaced with an amount of sadness at times. I was forced to move on by the logistics of handling the estate and taking care of our four children - I don't have any wise words I'm afraid.

But be glad for and cherish your daughter - every reason to move on at a pace to suit you. Have you considered counselling or

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 9:34pm

Thanks for the replies. To answer mandi's question, my daughter is eight. She has ADHD and is very loving but also demands a lot of my energies. I am considering a support group. I haven't figured out how to find one, but I will somehow. For now, you are my support group. Any suggestions on where to look?

Because we live in Upstate NY and the ground has been so frozen this season, we've been unable to bury Mom until now. That's part of my problem, I think. Now I'm waiting for her siblings to return from Florida before we can complete the burial. It could take weeks. The cemetery is still covered with snow - I guess I'm glad we're not doing it in the freezing cold. But I need this chapter over so I can move on.

My apartment is a mess. I suffer from chronic depression to begin with, and this has made it worse. I can't seem to finish anything. I've started a Yoga routine to help quiet my mind, and it seems to be helping. As usual, I'm feeling impatient with myself and keep telling myself to "snap out of it". Fortunately, I'm the most critical of myself than anyone I know - everyone else has been patient with me.

I'm going to try my Yoga now and get some rest. Thanks for listening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Fri, 03-25-2005 - 10:46am

Welcome to our board.