I'm new and seem to be getting no where
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I'm new and seem to be getting no where
| Wed, 12-20-2006 - 1:11am |
Hi everyone, I'm new here. My name is Rochelle and I don't seem to be getting anywhere with my grieving for my son Cameron. He died December 22nd 2004 at the age of 2.5yrs old. We were going to see Santa and something must caught his eyes since he was holding my husband's hand and he pulled out and ran across the road and a station wagon hit him. The driver got away with it and they said it was an accident. I don't seem to have grieved at all for him. I seem to be angry more than anything.

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((((((((HUGS)))))))) Oh many, many hugs.
One of the aspects of grief is anger....I can only imagine how much anger you have.
I am glad you
hugs. Losing a baby has got to be such an unbelievably hard thing. No wonder you are angry. I can imagine so many horrible thoughts that haunt and hinder you from going forward. It seems to me that you would be in better shape if you would be able to let go of some of those angry thoughts, but I am loathe to suggest something, because you may not be ready for it yet. Perhaps you still need the anger. On the other hand, you might be artificially holding on to the anger, which is bad for you, and which does nothing for your darling baby. Or you may be ready to put aside the anger, to start to truly grieve over the horrific loss, and finally let your baby take up residence in your heart, where he will be safe forever. What do you think?
I send you lots of strength to get over the upcoming anniversary and holidays.
Sylvia
Sylvia
Life is a journey of many steps, some are great strides, others just tiny shuffles.
((((hugs))))
I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your son. I can't imagine a greater pain than losing your child. He was so young, and through an accident such as that must be very dificult.
I'm glad you found this board. Many of the women here are able to offer great advice. I lost my boyfriend a little over a month ago, and some of the suggestions from the others here have proven to be very helpful. Although everyones situation is different and everyone grieves differently a lot of the emotions, thoughts and feelings are universal. I hope that you are able to use this board to sort out your emotions and to find comfort and support in your grieving process.
Post as often as you like, if only to write your feelings on "paper".
I'm sure you will be hearing from many of the women here soon.
I send you gentle hugs and support during this dificult anniversary and holiday.
Have you tried grief therapy. Not regular therapy, but the kind with someone who knows grief.
As much as you don't want to get rid of the anger, holding on to it is hurting you and, as you know, is not what your angel would want.
We will be here for you, I promise.
Grief therapy specializes on helping people through losses. My DD went to grief counselling at our local hospice. The group was especially for her age. Our hospice had names of grief therapists also.
(((((Rochelle), I'm Barb, the other CL here.
I also echo Beth's suggestion of grief or bereavement counseling. You can call your local Hospice, they usually offer it free. Or the other suggestion she offered are all great ones.
Your story just tugged at my heart. You are very insightful that you are holding onto the anger because you don't feel ready to deal with the pain, but as someone pointed out the anger will take it's toll. Anger will do physical damage to your body, and it's been going on for so long. It is scary to think of letting go of the anger & the possibilty of great pain but if you are really ready to move beyond the anger (and your post title sounds like you want to go somewhere other than where you are) a bereavement therapist could prove to be a great support and assist you with this.
Having so much anger takes up so much energy, you must be so tired.
Karen
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