I am lost without my soulmate
Find a Conversation
I am lost without my soulmate
| Sun, 12-31-2006 - 11:20pm |
I spend Christmas with my kids, it was a good time being around my children and grandchildren,I had to put a face a lot of the time because it was Christmas after all for the kids. Now I life starts, and even when people around me tell me how strong I am, I don't feel strong. I had to go back to work after my husband sudden passing two month ago, and I only did it because I have to support myself. I know I am going through the motions, I keep a face for everyone, but when I am alone I spend the majority of the time crying. I hardly eat, and sleep. I just cannot see a future without him. Especially tonight, I see the end of a year and the beginning of another without him and the only thing I can think is how long do I have to keep on going. I really don't want to keep on going, he was my world and without him I cannot see the purpose of going on. I had the most wonderful man in my life, I know I should be happy because there is no many women that have experience the kind of unconditional love I felt. At the same time after all the things I had to take care of in these few weeks, it suddenly hit me I will not have him next to me again. I finally hit rock bottom, and I don't know if I can get out from it. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have a place where I can pour my feelings. I try to listen to music today and I cannot even do that, everything reminds me that he is not coming back. My daughter call me while writting and it is almost like he is trying to give me a hint that there is a purpose. I hope that it gets a little clearer, a little less dark, a little less painful. I don't see how right now.

Pages
Rose, I still have my
Pages