Any advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Any advice?
33
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 3:42pm

My Mother and I were best friends. She just passed away on Decemeber 14th. I miss her so much but sometimes I feel as if she is going to walk through the front door. My Mother died of breast cancer and she fought so hard for 4 years. She only decided to go on Hospice a week before she passed. I knew my Mother's cancer would kill her someday so I tried to prepare myself as much as I could. I always imagined myself and my siblings being with her until the end and it being very spiritual. My mothers death was nothing like that. Although we were all there she suffered until literally the last minute. I feel so guilty that I prayed as hard as I could for God to let my Mom die. I also feel guilty that that day I was pressured by my sibling to tell my Mom that it is okay to go. I told her, but I lied. The truth is is that its not okay. I still need her. I am haunted by visions of my Mother suffering. everyone always tells me she's in a better place now. That may be true and I may be selfish but I don't want her there, I want her here because I miss her too much. Does anyone have any advice on how to let go of this feeling, I want to be okay with her in "a better place" and I need to sleep, how do I get these visions out of my head?? any help will be greatly appreciated. I'm not sure where else to go. My fiance is no help he just gets angry because he thinks im telling him to fix my problem.

Melissa

Melissaphoto

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 5:40pm

Hi, Kiki!

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 5:42pm
Melissa, don't hesitate to write your mother a letter or even talk out loud to her.
AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 3:33pm
It has been 5 years...and I still want Mama when the girls are being...their ages.



Beth


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