No one seems to understand,...
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No one seems to understand,...
| Mon, 02-05-2007 - 8:58pm |
My Dad was diagnosed with Lymphoma, and died nine months later. Wednesday will be six months since he died. Prior to becoming sick, he was healthy, and a large part of my life. His diagnosis took us all by surprise, but these things usually do. I thought I was prepared for him to die, to let him go, to not see him suffer. I thought I said my goodbye, told him how much I loved him. I find myself wishing for one more day, selfishly wanting him alive, even though his pain was so horrible. My birthday is in a week, and how do I celebrate without him, how does life go on? My Mom seems to push me away, and I feel helpless with her. I have friends, and a husband whom all try to listen, but truly no one understands. Dad was 64, he had so many good years robbed away. I am 33, and feel like I am too young to not have a dad. Please anyone who can help me, I would appreciate any words.... Caryn

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Welcome, Smiley.
I'm 26, my mom (and best friend) died 2 and a half years ago (though it still feels like yesterday). My mom had just turned 50. Nobody could have a clue what you're feeling or going through unless they have been there. After all this time, the thought of her being gone still tears at my soul. Anyways, I just wanted you to say that I know how you feel, that you've been robbed. I also wanted to let you know what I do on special days to feel better. I go buy flowers and instead of putting them on her grave (she would say it's a waste since that's not where she is), I bring them to a retirement home, and tell whoever I randomly give them to that they deserve them. I don't know, my mom was such a kind hearted person, she'd want me to do something for someone else. It's a small way I can make myself feel a bit better on a really sad day.
Sorry you have to go through this, nobody should have to
Beth
Proud to be co-cl for
My husband died 6/30/05 of cancer. He was 44. He had 2 daughters from a previous marriage - they were 25 and 21 when he died. I am very close with the one who was 21. She was pregnant with her 3rd baby when her dad died and she had a really hard time. Her 22nd birthday was 8/20 that year, and she believes she got a call from her dad. Her dad was very into birthdays and called everyone one their birthday every year. Even people who rarely bothered with him, he would call them on their birthday. I guess it was his thing. Anyway, Christina got a phone call at 8 in the morning (the time she was born) on her birthday. There was no one there and the caller ID said "unknown name, unknown number". She's convinced it was her dad and it made the day easier for her. Anyway, there are others who have gone through what you're going through. If you want, I can ask Christina if she'd like to talk to you by email. Let me know.
Blessings,
Maria
(((((Honey))))), I want to welcome you to our board.
Welcome, (((((destiny_calling))))).
Kiki, your "Dead Dad Club" sounds like it has been a wonderful source of support!
I am very sorry for the loss of your dad. I know exactly how you feel & it's nice to meet people on this board that understand. I lost my mother when I was 12 to breast cancer, she was 44 & I lost my dad when I was 32 on March 15th, 2006 to a rare liver cancer, he was 64. The both died too young and I am still very angry. I am working on it but it's tough. I think of them both so often and how they were cheated of their lives.
I got married December 2006 and it was hard not having my parents with me. My husband was very kind and secretly had the pastor say a few words about them & how they are looking down upon us. It was a wonderful day. We are now trying to get pregnant and I am sad my future children will never meet them. I know my parents would not want me to focus on their deaths but to cherish their lives and how much they loved us. I try to each day & each day gets better. I know 3/15/2007 will be tough since it will be the 1 year anniversary of his death.
Try to remember all the good that he had & how much he loved you. It may not cure the pain but it will help you to heal.
Feel free to email me at anytime. Take care.
~Nicole
Edited 2/12/2007 8:39 pm ET by na1973
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