coping with anger and grief

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2007
coping with anger and grief
6
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 6:45pm
My Dad died almost a week ago and I am so mad! I am blowing up at complete strangers. This is not normal for me. I know that my loss is huge but I am going crazy. help
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 7:44pm

First of all I'm so sorry about the loss of your dad.

The grief is fresh for you... and anger is a huge part of the grieving process. Sometimes it's easier to just let go of that pain on perfect strangers because you know it won't hurt them the same way it might your immediate family.

Obviously, grief and the motions of grief are different for everyone... but many people experience anger... you arn't alone.

Perhaps you could try to journal your feelings, and get them out through a good cry while you write them down. It would be a safer and more beneficial way to get them out.

Take it one day at a time, and the emotions will ebb and flow on their own. Be patient with yourself at this very difficult time. My thoughts are with you.

(((hugs)))

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2007
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 8:14pm
Thank you for your advice. I stopped journaling when he was getting worse. Thanks for the writting reminder. Dad died of brain cancer and renal failure. I am going to grab my journal and start again.
Thank you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 9:08pm

Your welcome...

I really hope it's helpful during your grieving process.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 11:10am

Rose, I just replied to another post you had written, suggesting you introduce yourself!

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 11:15am

Hello Rosalia


Welcome to the board. I am Beth, one of the cls here. One of the big things about losing some one is that it is so darned unfair. And, for me, that made me so angry. I couldn't rage at death itself, I wasn't letting myself be mad at the person who died, so I took it out on everyone else. Not really appropriate, but understandable.


I had to learn to redirect my anger where it belonged. I donate to the foundations that are researching the diseases that took my loved ones. I talked about how stupid my sister was to not take care of her health. I visualized the diseases and yelled at them.


The anger became manageable.


Please consider grief counselling, many get a great deal of help from it.



iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 11:45am

You seem to be all too concious of your lashing out at strangers and you know that this behavior isn't acceptable BUT how else should we handle our grief??? It appears you have expressed it in anger and that's okay. BUT reigning it in to be a healthier process seems like a better idea. WOW...this one is hard because I don't want to criticize you by any means because we all express ourselves differently during difficult times. Since you are asking for help is the first step to having the knowledge that you need to curb your anger and find a more healthier solution for your grieving. Easier said than done though. Can you share with us your father's story...it might help if you get it out there and begin the healing process???? We are all ears and would love to help you. I would also recommend counseling...it helped me out tremendously!!!

Help us help you.

Kiki