My Dad by Rose
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My Dad by Rose
| Tue, 02-20-2007 - 12:41pm |
My Dad, Ted, was so intelligent. He knew everything about electronics and science. His passion for learning spilled onto me and my brother.
Dad had renal failure and was on dialysis. The diabetes took his vision. Ironically, Dad was a photograher. The last wedding pictures he took was that of my brother and sister in laws wedding in 2004. That all changed in October of 2006. We had the unfortunate diagnosis of terminal brain cancer. The docs gave him 2-3 months without radiation. He had 3-6 months on radiation. Do you know that the doctors talked about my Dad as if he wasn't in the room? They would make statements like, "We suggest that you stop the dialysis and don't attempt the radiation." My Dad replied, "I want to have my 72 birthday party at the end of December. We are doing everything!" MY DAD ROCKS!!!
We had his 72 birthday. My family, husband and 2 kids in college drove in from Texas to Michigan. The party was held at the nursing home. It was so much fun. Dad mingled with everyone. He was so awake, eating constantly. I loved watching him.
In January 2007, Dad had his left leg amputated. He went down hill quickly. The right side of his body was not moving. The tumor was on the left side of the brain. His eloquent speech was gone. He slept constantly.
My brother, sister in law, niece and I were with him when he passed. Heartland Hospice of Grand Rapids Michigan was with us. God I love them. It was so beautiful-peaceful. He died on Feb.13,2007, on a wintery Tuesday night,
I know in my head that it was for the best. However,my heart misses him!
I have started to work on my journal again. That has helped so much.
My Dad always told us not to be mad when someone dies. I am not angry with him- I am angry at the cancer.
I see the word cancer in red and black bold letters. I have made an appointment to talk to someone at my church tomorrow. I just don't want this anger to consume my life and block out all of the great memories of Dad.
Thanks! Rose
Dad had renal failure and was on dialysis. The diabetes took his vision. Ironically, Dad was a photograher. The last wedding pictures he took was that of my brother and sister in laws wedding in 2004. That all changed in October of 2006. We had the unfortunate diagnosis of terminal brain cancer. The docs gave him 2-3 months without radiation. He had 3-6 months on radiation. Do you know that the doctors talked about my Dad as if he wasn't in the room? They would make statements like, "We suggest that you stop the dialysis and don't attempt the radiation." My Dad replied, "I want to have my 72 birthday party at the end of December. We are doing everything!" MY DAD ROCKS!!!
We had his 72 birthday. My family, husband and 2 kids in college drove in from Texas to Michigan. The party was held at the nursing home. It was so much fun. Dad mingled with everyone. He was so awake, eating constantly. I loved watching him.
In January 2007, Dad had his left leg amputated. He went down hill quickly. The right side of his body was not moving. The tumor was on the left side of the brain. His eloquent speech was gone. He slept constantly.
My brother, sister in law, niece and I were with him when he passed. Heartland Hospice of Grand Rapids Michigan was with us. God I love them. It was so beautiful-peaceful. He died on Feb.13,2007, on a wintery Tuesday night,
I know in my head that it was for the best. However,my heart misses him!
I have started to work on my journal again. That has helped so much.
My Dad always told us not to be mad when someone dies. I am not angry with him- I am angry at the cancer.
I see the word cancer in red and black bold letters. I have made an appointment to talk to someone at my church tomorrow. I just don't want this anger to consume my life and block out all of the great memories of Dad.
Thanks! Rose

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Thank you for sharing your Dad with us. I can relate with the anger that arises with the disease. My father died of pneumonia but he had the onset of emphysema that was going to rob him of everything he loved....his job....driving and ultimately death. His quick death with pneumonia saved him from all of this and I try to focus on that. The hard part was the night he died there was a freak storm (it was the end of May and a freak rainstorm moved into the area and it hailed and the wind was amazing) and we know that was my Dad kicking and screaming his way to heaven. It was hard at first but as the sun rose the next day the sun shined brightly we knew he was at peace and no longer in pain. We miss him terribly every single day and I wish I could tell you that it will get better but the only thing that happens is you get use to it. After all he was my Dad. I often wondered who was going to protect me???? Who was going to check my car when it wasn't running well??? Well I do these things for myself (and some good friends and family members). I know he is proud that I am able to do these things myself but if he was still here he would still be helping me and I am 47 years old.
I hope you find peace with this and the appointment that you have tomorrow is the first step towards that. Since you are the newest member of the Dead Dad's Club (harsh as it may sound you will understand it one day) I welcome you. We never like new members to join but will embrace you if you happen to have to and as of the 13th you are a charter member. We have certain responsibilities and one of them is to open your heart to everyone who steps inside our world. A world that will be eventually filled with wonderful memories of Daddy.
Kiki
(((((((Rose))))))
What a beautiful tribute to your wonderful dad. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. I am losing my dad to lung cancer, he is in the early stages right now so he is still with us. My dad is 77, we lost my mom 2 yrs ago in Dec. I think he misses her alot. I know I do. Your dad sounds like a wonderful caring loveing man. You and your family have alot of good memories. Yes, it hurts Rose, it hurts like hell, but the tears make room for the smiles and happy memories. Why don't you contact the hospis you worked with, they may be able to direct you to a grief counselor and of course seek help through your church too.
Stay close to your family and take very good care of yourself sweetie, that is very important.
Please keep posting so we know how your doing.
Love ya
Gail
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Rose, how true that is!
Hey, Gail, I read something interesting.
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-bhgrief&msg=4688.16&x=y
Found it for ya Barb!
I'm so glad you decided to share part of your Dad with us.
He sounds like a good hearted, warm and interesting man.
(((hugs)))
It's nice to read that you are able to say that you are mad at CANCER (evil word) and not your Dad. Your Dad fought hard sweetie, and he fought for you and for your family.
You will always miss him, and you will always remember the best parts of your Dad... I know you will.
I wish you luck with your appointment tomorrow... I know talking to a counsilor has been extremely beneficial for me in my loss... and I hope you have a positive experience as well.
((((Barb, Razski)))))))
Thank you both for the infor. Guess my little quip about tears making room for smiles and happy memories has some meaning to it. It sure does feel different.
Thanks again
Love ya
Gail
xoxoxoxoxoxo
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