My Dad by Rose
Find a Conversation
My Dad by Rose
| Tue, 02-20-2007 - 12:41pm |
My Dad, Ted, was so intelligent. He knew everything about electronics and science. His passion for learning spilled onto me and my brother.
Dad had renal failure and was on dialysis. The diabetes took his vision. Ironically, Dad was a photograher. The last wedding pictures he took was that of my brother and sister in laws wedding in 2004. That all changed in October of 2006. We had the unfortunate diagnosis of terminal brain cancer. The docs gave him 2-3 months without radiation. He had 3-6 months on radiation. Do you know that the doctors talked about my Dad as if he wasn't in the room? They would make statements like, "We suggest that you stop the dialysis and don't attempt the radiation." My Dad replied, "I want to have my 72 birthday party at the end of December. We are doing everything!" MY DAD ROCKS!!!
We had his 72 birthday. My family, husband and 2 kids in college drove in from Texas to Michigan. The party was held at the nursing home. It was so much fun. Dad mingled with everyone. He was so awake, eating constantly. I loved watching him.
In January 2007, Dad had his left leg amputated. He went down hill quickly. The right side of his body was not moving. The tumor was on the left side of the brain. His eloquent speech was gone. He slept constantly.
My brother, sister in law, niece and I were with him when he passed. Heartland Hospice of Grand Rapids Michigan was with us. God I love them. It was so beautiful-peaceful. He died on Feb.13,2007, on a wintery Tuesday night,
I know in my head that it was for the best. However,my heart misses him!
I have started to work on my journal again. That has helped so much.
My Dad always told us not to be mad when someone dies. I am not angry with him- I am angry at the cancer.
I see the word cancer in red and black bold letters. I have made an appointment to talk to someone at my church tomorrow. I just don't want this anger to consume my life and block out all of the great memories of Dad.
Thanks! Rose
Dad had renal failure and was on dialysis. The diabetes took his vision. Ironically, Dad was a photograher. The last wedding pictures he took was that of my brother and sister in laws wedding in 2004. That all changed in October of 2006. We had the unfortunate diagnosis of terminal brain cancer. The docs gave him 2-3 months without radiation. He had 3-6 months on radiation. Do you know that the doctors talked about my Dad as if he wasn't in the room? They would make statements like, "We suggest that you stop the dialysis and don't attempt the radiation." My Dad replied, "I want to have my 72 birthday party at the end of December. We are doing everything!" MY DAD ROCKS!!!
We had his 72 birthday. My family, husband and 2 kids in college drove in from Texas to Michigan. The party was held at the nursing home. It was so much fun. Dad mingled with everyone. He was so awake, eating constantly. I loved watching him.
In January 2007, Dad had his left leg amputated. He went down hill quickly. The right side of his body was not moving. The tumor was on the left side of the brain. His eloquent speech was gone. He slept constantly.
My brother, sister in law, niece and I were with him when he passed. Heartland Hospice of Grand Rapids Michigan was with us. God I love them. It was so beautiful-peaceful. He died on Feb.13,2007, on a wintery Tuesday night,
I know in my head that it was for the best. However,my heart misses him!
I have started to work on my journal again. That has helped so much.
My Dad always told us not to be mad when someone dies. I am not angry with him- I am angry at the cancer.
I see the word cancer in red and black bold letters. I have made an appointment to talk to someone at my church tomorrow. I just don't want this anger to consume my life and block out all of the great memories of Dad.
Thanks! Rose

Pages
Thank you for the support. From yesterday afternoon til today I know know that I am not alone in this stage of grief. Thank you all for making me feel normal! My husband thanks you also. I look forward to tomorrows appointment with the church. Thanks Rose
Rose
Your dad sounds like a great guy. What a legacy he passed on to you!!!
I am glad that you will be seeing someone about your grief. I also like the idea that you can see the word cancer in different letters, I see the word LUPUS the same way.
Thanks for letting us get to know you more!
Beth
Proud to be co-cl for
Rose, your father sounds like a wonderful & fun man. I'm glad he made it to his 72nd birthday & had such a good time -- that will certainly be one of the wonderful memories you will have of him.
I had the same experience with drs & nurses talking like my husband wasn't even in the room when he was still aware of what was going on...it made me so angry. It's obvious they need to teach more people skills, or just plain common sense & respect in medical school.
We also had Hospice come to be with us while he died, and how wonderful they were with us, too. I can not say enough about how wonderful they were at such a difficult time.
Thanks for sharing your story and I'm glad you're here.
Karen
I really bottomed out yesterday! I flew back to Texas on Monday. So yesterday, Thursday, was my crash day!
Everyone has told me that it will catch up with me-I think it is.
Is it common to almost forget that they died? I went to call the nursing home on Monday to see how Dad was doing. I am just wondering.
Thanks for the support.
Peace and comfort,
Rose
It is very hard to lose a parent and your dad sounds like a very special man.
He also raised a very special daughter.
I am sure he would be very proud of you.
Many years ago now I lost my beloved mom and I know if I had dealt with her death sooner rather than later it would have been much better for me.
Just know you aren't ALONE hon.
Writing in your journal is an awesome idea.
I have many from years back when my beloved mom died and when I went through a separation and divorce and wrote when my fiance' died of suicide.
Carry on and I think you are a wonderful daughter.
It is amazing how a "normal" moment can be so swiftly changed into a breakdown moment. I am learning to let tears flow, whether I am in Walmart or sitting on my couch.
Some of the responses from WMF-well meaning friends-has been a little hard to hold onto, but I realize that they don't know what to say.
How did you move on after your losses? How are you doing today?
I hope that it is not too personal to ask-I understand if you don't.
Take care of yourself. I will let you know how my first meeting went...I am nervous.
Not a yellow Rose of Texas
Thank you for your support. I was supposed to go to my first support of loss meeting last night.
As I was standing in my kitchen, I think I lost my mind! I did not think that I needed to go...I am strong I can handle this. HA HA
Thank God for my husband. As I am standing there, having a tantrum, saying to him,"I am so strong. I don't need to go to complete strangers and pour my heart out. I am not going to become a support group junkie." It has been 3 weeks since my Dad died.
I moved into the bedroom. I was still complaining, all the while changing my clothes to get ready to go. My sweet husband just sat there (he followed me from room to room without speaking a word!!!)
I drove the 45 minutes to get to the meeting. I kept thinking: are these people support group junkies? Is their loss worse than mine? Am I going to be able to relate to these people? How can I explain my Dad to complete strangers?
The group was small and intimate. I cried. I laughed. I was so overwhelmed to find others that said it is okay to cry and then laugh in the same breath.
I will be attending again next month. Until then I continue to journal. The emotional rollercoaster is so draining on the body. I am learning that I need to eat in order to stay functional-heck of a diet!!!
I will be okay, but I know it is going to take time. I have plenty of time.
Thanks for listening to me ramble on
Rose
Pages