my husband passed away on 29th January,2

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2007
my husband passed away on 29th January,2
5
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 3:17am

HI MY NAME IS ANNETTE AND I AM AUSTRALIAN LIVING AT PRESENT IN AUSTRALIA, AND I AM 58 YEARS OLD MY LATE HUSBAND WAS 65 YEARS OLD, AND I HAVE A DAUGHTER 28 YEARS OLD AND MY LATE HUSBAND HAD THREE GROWN UP CHILDREN AND THREE GRANDCHILDREN HE NEVER SAW IN HIS LIFE.

MY HUSBAND WHO HAD RECTUM CANCER SINCE AUGUST,05 DIED ON THE 29TH JANUARY,2007 AND THOUGH I KNOW NOW HE IS NOT IN PAIN FROM THE TUMOR, I MISS HIM SO MUCH ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT TIME WHEN THE TV,WIRELESS OR COMPUTER IS OFF, AND WHEN I TALK TO HIM BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP OR TALKING TO GOD, I CRY SO MUCH, AND DURING THE DAY WHEN I TALK TO HIM AND THINK ABOUT HIM.

I HAVE NO SUPPORT OVER HERE, I DO HAVE A DAUGHTER BUT SHE DID NOT KNOW HIM ONLY AS A FRIEND, AND SHE HAS HER OWN LIFE WORKING AND LIVING WITH HER BOYFRIEND 1 HOUR EACH WAY, SHE WAS HOLDING MY HAND AT THE FURNERAL, WE ARE NOT THAT CLOSE THOUGH WE KNOW WE LOVE EACH OTHER AND WILL CONTACT EACH OTHER IF WE NEED TO BE IN TOUCH.

I DONT HAVE ANY FRIENDS AS MY HUSBAND PREFERED JUST THE TWO OF US, AND I AM VERY LONELY AND HAVE NO ONE TO COMFORT ME, OR HELP WITH ANY THING.

MY EXHUSBAND WHO WAS FRIENDS WITH MY HUSBAND FOR OVER 40YEARS HAS SPUR ME AS HE STILL LOVED ME BUT AS I SAID I WOULD NEVER LOVE HIM OR MARRY HIM HE JUST WANTS TO BE FRIENDS AND HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND SINCE MY HUSBAND DIED. ALSO HE AND MY HUSBAND HAD WORDS ON THE 23RD JANUARY,2007 AFTER NOT TALKING FOR SIX MONTHS DUE TO ME WANTED MY EXHUSBAND TO CONTACT MY FRIENDS ON THE COMPUTER TO SAY I HAD ARRIVED SAFELY BACK FROM USA.

I HAD KNOW MY HUSBAND IN 1982/83 WHEN I WAS WITH MY EXHUSBAND AND WITH FAMILY BUT WE DID NOT FALL IN LOVE TO MARCH 2000 AND I LEFT MY EXHUSBAND TO BE WITH HIM IN MAY 200O AND WE LIVED AS DEFACTO COUPLE UNTIL AUGUST,2005 WHEN WE GOT MARRIED. THEY BECAME FRIENDS AGAIN IN 2002,UNTIL SIX MONTHS AGO. MY EX HUSBAND DID HAVE A GIRLFRIEND BUT LEFT HER IN OCTOBER 05.

I WAS IN USA FEB05-MAR05,JUNE-05-AUG05,DEC05-FEB05 AND WE HAD DISCUSSED IN APRIL,05 WE WOULD GET MARRIED IN SEPTEMBER, 05 BUT WHEN I JUST RETURNED IN AUGUST,05 AND WE FOUND OUT THAT HE HAD RECTUM CANCER WE GOT MARRIED WITHIN 10 DAYS; ALSO IN FEB05 WHILST I WAS OVER THERE MY THEN DEFACTO (LATER HUSBAND)HAD AN ATORIA OPERATION AND DIED THREE TIMES LATER FIVE DAYS LATER BUT HE WOULD NOT LET ME BEEN CONTACTED AND AS WE HAD ARRANGED FOR ME TO CONTACT HIM EVERY THREE WEEKS OR FOUR WEEKS I RUSHED BACK TO BE WITH HIM.

ANNETTE

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 8:52am

I am so sorry about your husband!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 12:44pm

(((((Annette))))), I am so glad you found our board.

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2004
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 11:48pm

Annette, hugs to you during this difficult time.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2005
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 3:07pm

Dear Annette,

I would like to take this time and send you my deepest condolences on the loss of your husband. I have had many losses in my life time, but never my husband, thank God. I could only imgaine how you are feeling as I am very close to my husband. He is my best friend, lover, he is my confident,and soul mate. I can't even think what my life would be with out him. The only difference between you and I is that I am close to my children and I have many good and close friends. Aside from having each other, (hussband and wife) I think it is just as important to have good friends.

Do you have any friends and or relatives in the United States. If you do, perhaps you can contact them and start your friendships over again. I am very happy that you have found this board as you will see that there are many women here who have lots of support to give, and they are very caring women who have had losses in their lives aswell.

It may be a good idea to seek some councelling. Writing in a journal can help aswell. You must give your self permission to grieve as it has not been that long since he has passed away.It takes time to heal. The clouds in the sky are black at the moment, but....they will not remain dark forever, as the sun will shine again.

I lost my mom two years ago, and on her 2nd anniversary Jan 22nd 2007 I sat down a wrote her a letter which I have to say, was so comforting and so theraputic. I sat in a chair of hers that I had taken after she passed away. She sat in this chair all the time. There is where I sat, had a cup of tea, put on very soft music and wrote this long letter to her. It really helped, as I wrote down what I would of liked to have said to her. This is omething else that you can try to do.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and please let me know how you are coming along. You may not have any friends in Australia for now, but you have friends here at the Beverment and Healing Board. So, please feel free to post any time you wish as we are here to listen and give you our support.

((((((((((Cyberhugs)))))))))) Miriam

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 3:29pm

I am so terribly sorry about your loss. I am glad, however, that Capecod answered your post. She knows so well what you are going through.


It has taken me an unpardonably long time to answer your post...how are you doing today?



Beth