Missing Person loss

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Missing Person loss
3
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 12:45am

hi

this board was the closest i could find for our situation and i am looking for help.

our friend, ryan, disappeared sat night. he went to jack in the box to get food for himself and his fiancee and never came back

he's a type 1 diabetic and left without any diabetic supplies.

he just vanished.

my question is if there is anyone here that has dealt w/this type of situation and has any helpful tips for how to be proactive in the search. a missing persons report has been filed, his parents hired equusearch, we've posted flyers, myspace bulletins and the police chief gave the news approval to run the story and after it airs, the radio stations can talk about it.

it seems as though the police dragged their feet on this all weekend and only got moving today and its extremely frustrating. we can't track his cell anymore because its off/dead, and cingular could only tell us on sunday that that it was in town (when the phone was still working).

if anyone here has experienced this and has some helpful advice, we would certainly appreciate it. i feel like we have to keep finding rocks to turn over.

and if this has happened to you i am sincerely sorry. this is just the worst thing i have ever experienced and his daughter keeps asking where he is.

we would just like to find him

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 5:50am

Oh my goodness!


Welcome to the board, and your loss is definitely, although unique, one the belongs here.


I am sorry the police didn't seem to work as diligently. The unfortunate thing is that a missing adult is usually seen as wanting to leave. I would hope that your friend's medical condition was made very clear to them.


You have covered so much...the only thing I can think of is to pray, if you are a praying person. I know that I have said a prayer right now for a positive resolution to this for you.



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 2:14pm

I have not experienced that kind of loss, and I can't even imagine what it's like.

As far as children, here is how my family handled the loss of my cousin to her daughter, who is about 4. We didn't lie about it and tell her that mom might come home... we were honest that Mom was gone and she can't come back. We are a religious family, so we said that Mom went to heaven and now she can watch over all of us at the same time. When her daughter said, "I miss Mommy," we just said, "So do we." My aunt and uncle also started taking her to therapy, along with going themselves, to learn how to address problems and feelings when they do eventually come up. They just want to be proactive.

It's very difficult to know what to say to a child, especially when you you don't know what to say to yourself. My suggestion is to simply say age approprite, honest responses. Let her know that you don't know where he is, but people are looking for him. Assure her that it was nothing she did or could have done that kept him away. (Children are concrete in their thinking and they are ego-centric )

Please know that the police are doing the best they can. There are legal things that they must do in a certain time, so it can make it look like they are dragging their feet.

If there's anything anyone else can do for you, let us know. This is such a wonderful community of people in here.
Kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 7:17pm

Honey, what a frightening situation!

AcornLeaves