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| Fri, 03-16-2007 - 10:27pm |
I've been reading some messages on here for a few days and I figured I'd break the ice and jump in.
My mom passed away about 10 months ago, on Mothers Day to be exact. She has an accident many years ago and was disabled and lived with a lot of pain-but managed to get through day to day. She was my toughest critic, advisor, and biggest fan. We talked everyday on my way home from work--sometimes more than once a day. Her death was compleatly unexpected. I called that morning and she didn't answer. My father was out of the country on a business trip. I am left with my Dad and two brothers who are all great--but deal with things very differently. They forget the important things--and avoid rather than talk about things. Her birthday came and went without a phone call from any of them and Christmas will be forever changed. After dealing with the initial loss and first few weeks of "taking care of business" things seemed almost ok. But as the year has gone on everything else in my life has crumpled-my job is more stressful than it has ever been, my relationship with my boyfriend ended. As I'm trying to deal with these things I'm feeling this loss more and more. My dad and brothers are trying to be supportive but really don't know how. And while I appreciate their efforts and attempts--they're not Mom. And Mothers Day is almost here again...

Hi Welcome! I am Beth, one of the cls here.
I am sorry about your Mom, mine died 5 & 1/2 years ago.
I miss her too.
We have a great folder below on Motherless Daughters.
Sorry this is so short. It is late.
((((((Sweetheart))))))
I am so glad your here. I am so sorry about your loss. I lost my mom 2 yrs ago on Dec. 4th. THe firsts can be rough, but you will make it through,there is no time limit to healing and what your feeling is normal.
Even tho my mom was 400 miles away, i still called her everyday. I miss her so much. Why don't you try writing down your feelings in a journal and look for a grief counselor these two things seem to help. As I have told others, tears make room for smiles and happy memories. On Mother's day, maybe you can think of something to do in her honor, plant a tree, donate time, whatever makes you happy. I see you have met one of our cl's. They are wonderful and have a wealth of information.
Never hesitate posting here. The ladies here are wonderful and caring. Take care sweetie and let us hear from you again.
Love ya
Gail
xoxoxoxoxo
(((((Blueyz65))))), this is one place where you will find that everyone understands.
My name is susie, mother to 5, step mom to 2. Lost my best friend, my mom december 6th. My mom was disabled, lived with diabetes, chronic pain (the doc never figured that one out), pancreatitits. She got help for depression and went on to be an advocate for mental illness. SHe told it straight out, told you how she felt about something, sometimes whether you wanted to hear it or not. She didnt take no BS from anyone. One tough cookie. Smoked against doctors orders. she said that she had lost everything else, she wasnt giving that up. SHe wore what she wanted, hehehe to the charign of some of us at times :)
she had spent the week with us for thansgiving and I had finally talked her into letting me move her closer to us. we lived 3 hours away. Moving away from here was one of the hardest things I ever did. Her and my brother talked on the phone for a long time one night. Then she came in to the den and we were talking about a book I had read and it was about a woman and reincarnation. Mom never talked about stuff like that. She also told me some stuff about my natural dad. Did I think anything of it at the time? no.
I didnt call her that next week because I hd sick kids and got so busy, plus she was always busy, was hard to catch her at home. I had had 2 anxiety attacks that week. I dont know why, but my heart would raise and I was shaking etc. I would have usually have called mom if anything like that ever happend. But when I get on the phone, the kids go crazy. So I didnt call after the second one. I woke up about 3 am and could not sleep. so I got up. that day I was restless.then my brother called.
WE talk for a minute about nothing and I finally ask him whats up. He says you need to go outside. OK why? He says just do it. so I go to my room. My hubby is in with the kids so theyre fine. He says our aunt called him, the police called her. Mom didnt show up for work so they went to check on her. SHe was gone. Gone? gone where? My mom had passed away. the cops told me they think she went to the bathroom and had a heart attack. she had a bllody nose and hit her head. ok so which is it?
To this day, I dont know, nor will I ever know what happend. All I know is I dont have my mom anymore. I have no father, my brother moved here for a while, but now again he is living 3 hours away. I dont keep in touch with aunts. My mom was all I had. I have picked up the phone to call her several times. I think, oh when I call mom I gotta tell her about this.
Since then, my hubby has announced he is Bi-polar, say what?, my honor roll son is getting into ttrouble in school, my teen daughter has become sexually active, my other daughter has influenza, my hubby got slammed with a back child support order (even though his ex let new hubby adopt kids), and the list goes on. I feel like crying and saying I want my mommy. But shes not here. so I come here to the boards.
You'll find alot of friends and support here. Good luck, keep us posted and our prayers and thoughts are with you during this time..susie
Thanks for sharing your story with me. It sounds like you understand some of what has been going on and are going through it yourself. It seems that when it rains it pours huh??