Explaining death of grandma to a toddler

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2006
Explaining death of grandma to a toddler
12
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 2:05am
Hi to All...
This may be a long one and I'm sorry but I need some help.
I haven't been on this message board for a long time! The last time I was, I was going through a divorce with an 11 year old son and many people helped me out. Now I have another issue....I now have a daughter that will be 3 the end of April. My mother in law died unexpectantly 3 weeks ago at their winter get away. She was the world in my daughter's eyes. Everything was grandma with her. While my husband and I made our hectic trip to Texas from Wisconsin during the last winter storm, our daughter was with her Aunt. She tried exlaining to out daughter that grandma was with the angels now. Returning home was hard, seeing the family and our daughter, knowing that she was going to ask where grandma was. She seemed to be fine and somewhat understanding things at first. See, my parent's have been gone for over 9 years now and my daughter never knew them but has seen pictures. I explained to her that they had died and their bodies couldn't work anymore and that they were up in Heaven above the stars. So anyway... I think she might understand a little at times. The past couple of days have been a little hard for me because she has started to express more feelings. She looks at grandma's picture and says, " I miss my grandma." Then the next time she will say... "Will grandma be there?" When I say..,"No honey, grandma died. She's with the angels and we will all miss her." Then she starts crying and yells NO!" Am I saying the right things to her? Someone please tell me if I am or not. This is so hard for me because this lady that was my mother in law was so much more to me. She filled the empty spot in my heart that I had from the loss of my own mom. I thank anyone that can me some advice.....
Thanks so much!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2007
Wed, 03-28-2007 - 2:36pm

Thank you for the support. I know there will be moments from time to time that we will need answer question's. At 3 years old, she definitely knows when someone cries they are sad. One day I had a phone call from a close friend that had just heard the news and when I shed some tears, my daughter grabbed my leg and said..."Don't be sad mommy." Too smart for her britches some days!

Thanks again
Gina

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Wed, 03-28-2007 - 3:08pm

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