don't know what to title this

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
don't know what to title this
9
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 4:11pm

I have posted before. I am grieving for my 20 year old sister who is living through so much pain. Just a few weeks ago she was living in her own apartment and had caregivers who came in multiple times a day. But it has gotten to the point that even that is not enough and mom took her home last week. Yesterday she moved into a nursing home.
Part of me feels relieved that she is being taken care of. But the other part of me is so upset, I mean what kind of place is a nursing home for a 20 year old?
Now I am not one who usually has bad dreams but last night I had a nightmare. I am just so afraid to lose her. I feel like she has gon to a nursing home to wait to die. I am worried about her becoming depressed there and just giving up. I am just so so sad.

We are going through a lot of things here too. (we live 6 hours away from my family). My dh is either going to get a promotion next week or leave his job (complicated story, but I am behind him in it). And I am probably going to lose my job also. I baby sit for a little girl, her mom is expecting and told me this week that her baby has spina bifida and I imagine that after he is born that she will stay home rather than return to work. I am heartbroken for her too- I mean being so close to a disablity, my heart goes out to the whole family.

Sometimes I just want to pack up and move home, and other times I see the advantage of not living close to our families and their interference. It is going to be so hard to go and visit my sister in a nursing home.

I need someone to be angry at!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-1998
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 7:06pm
I don't know what to tell you. Can she get on the internet? (Can she keep a laptop?)
Cthulu Crochet

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2005
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 9:34pm

Welcome back to the board. I remember your last post very well, and I am just so sorry to hear about all the difficult situations that have arised in your life.

My only suggestion at this time would be,perhaps you can seek some counselling who may be able to help you deal with your feelings and emotions and all that is going on at this moment. Please know that we are all here for you, and our prayers and thoughts are with you.

Good luck!!!

Miriam

Photobucket 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Sat, 03-24-2007 - 7:00am

I understand.


My sister was in an assisted living facility because no nursing home would take her. She was doing okay there, but we were in a position to take her home almost every weekend. After a year we were able to have her move in. I know that is not possible in your case, and I understand. She was with us for 3&1/2 years and we were looking for a nursing home, as she had had a stroke right after the birth of my youngest, and we couldn't care for her anymore.


I agree with the sender who asked if she could have access to a computer. Are her hand impacted by the MS, there is voice recognition technology. Maybe she could start a patient newsletter at the home?


Now the baby with spina bifeda, where is the occlusion? If it is lower on the spine, there may be only little impact. Are the DRs talking with your friend about spinal fusion in utero, or shortly after birth. Yeah, I know a lot about spina bifeda...my great aunt was born paralyzed and died before she was one...my Mama had spina bifeda also. She never let it even slow her down.


I hope you know you can always come and vent here.

Beth
PROUD TO BE CO-CL ON THE FOLLOWING BOARDS

Alcohol Problems Board


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Sat, 03-24-2007 - 9:45am

<<<>>>

She does not have MS (multiple scrolosis) she has Muscular Dystrophy. Just wanted to clear that up because they are very different. It does sound as though my sister will be able to get a laptop and the internet.

The mom who is pregnant was traveling for a dr appointment over this weekend to check the baby.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Sat, 03-24-2007 - 1:00pm

You are right, and I thought I had typed MD, but the "s" button is RIGHT next to that "d". Darn it...I shouldn't try to type before coffee.


Sorry!

Beth
PROUD TO BE CO-CL ON THE FOLLOWING BOARDS

Alcohol Problems Board


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Sat, 03-24-2007 - 3:01pm
LOL, I wasn't mad or anything. It is just a mistake that people make all the time.
Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Sat, 03-24-2007 - 4:01pm

I remember your previous post.

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Sat, 03-24-2007 - 5:15pm
I would love to be able to take my sister out when we go to visit. They will only sign her out to people who they think can do all her transfers and such. And my dh and I have a pickup, she would never be able to get in and out of it. However my parents are planning on buying a van that can accompany her powerchair, I may be able to borrow that when we go to visit.
I can not afford counsoling.
Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Sat, 03-24-2007 - 10:08pm

That would be great if your parents had a van you could use!


There are places where one can get free or inexpensive counseling.

AcornLeaves