Missing my Little Brother

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2005
Missing my Little Brother
11
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 8:42am

On Dec. 22, 2006 my little brother was shot in the head while serving in Iraq. He was unstable when they contacted my parents and I. The army was able to fly my parents out to Germany to be at his side. When they were at the hospital by his side they knew his spirit was no longer there and they had to pull the plug on him. My brother died on Christmas morning.

I was able to enjoy most of the holiday until I received the news later that day that he didn't make it. Being that I am pregnant I was unable to go with my parents to Germany. I was extremely close to my brother and spoke to him hours before he was shot. I honestly did not want to believe that he was gone. The funeral service was extremely hard.

Now a couple of months have passed and my family and I are all still in shock that he is gone. There hasn't been a day that I haven't thought of my little brother. I wish he was still here expecially now when I need him the most.

Does it get any better? Is there ever going to be a time when I can talk about him or look at a picture of him without breaking down?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 10:53am

(((((Sweetie))))))

I am so so sorry for your tremoundous loss. Yes, it will get better. We all grieve at our own pace. THe first holidays are always the hardest, but it will get better. Having to expierence such a loss at that time of year and while you were pregnant, makes things harder. But there will be a day when you look at your sweet brothers picture and you will smile and have happy memories. Tears make room for smiles and happy memories.

Try keeping a journal of your feelings or write your brother a letter. But first and foremost you need to take care of yourself and stay healthy. Have you had your little one yet? If you did what did you have? Please let us know.

You are so welcomed here. This is a wonderful place to come to vent or to just talk. The ladies here are so wonderful and caring. We have all expierenced loss so we are able to help one another. You will be ok sweetheart and we are here for you.

Please do post as often as you want and tell us a little more about you and your wonderful brother and family.

Love ya
Gail
xoxoxoxoxoxo

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 7:15pm

(((((Honey))))), each loss we

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2007
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 7:22pm

My heart goes out to you and your family. I have never lost anyone close to me so I can't fully understand what you are going through, but I will keep you and your family in my prayers and hope that someday the memories will bring a smile instead of a tear.

God bless you!
Celeste

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 7:52pm

(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))


My sympathies to you and your family. My sister died in December 2004. I am just getting to the point where I can look at pictures...sometimes. Other times I can't. It will take time. I can promise that the love you have for your brother will never go away, but the pain subsides enough to let the good memories out.

Beth
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2006
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 9:14pm
(((((Hugs)))) ((((Prayers))))))
I am so sorry to hear about your brother. At this time in your life with so much going on, please take care of yourself. Stress can bring you down. I'm sure your brother would want the best for you and your baby. I lost my dad at age 9, my mother sixteen years ago, when I was pregnant with my last child. She died three days before Christmas, that holiday has never been the same since. I always remember her the most at Christmas time. This maybe the same for you. I have a young man( a family friend for years) in boot camp in Georgia. I try to write to him every other day, I want to keep his spirit's up, and to know someone care's what he is going thru. I will keep you and your family in my prayer's.
You will never forget your brother, so give youself some time to cry and mourn. Every one grevies differently, some openly, others close their self off. Please talk to some one, don't keeep it all bottled up. May God bless your family,
~Deborah~
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2005
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 1:58pm

I want to sent you and your parents my deepest condolences on the loss of your dear brother. We all grieve and heal differently and at our own pace. Talking, looking at pictures of your brother and reminising can be very helpful. Yes, there will be tears which is very normal, and there can and will be smiles and even laughter remembering certain events. Laughter is a good outlet, and it doesn't take away from your grief.

You can even write a letter to your brohter letting him know how you feel and everything that you would like to say to him. This could be very theraputic and for me it was when I wrote a letter to my late mom this past Jan, when it was her 2nd anniversary. I thought that this would be very hard, but surprisingly, it was very comforting to me.

Whenever you feel that you need a soft place to fall,know that you are always welcome to post here as you will find that all the women here are very caring and supportive. Perhaps when you feel up to it, you can write us and let us know more about your brother who was very brave and courage.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Love, and hugs Miriam

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2007
Sun, 04-22-2007 - 11:56am
i just read your post and i am so sorry about the loss of your brother i know how hard it is to lose a little brother..i lose my 22 year brother a few years ago,,and it was so hard,,it still is but i can tell time will heal some of the pain in your heart,,,there will come a day when you can tell stories and look picture with a smile,,,your brother was a hero,so when your children grow up you can tell them that,,your in my thoughts and prayers.....ginny
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2005
Sat, 04-28-2007 - 7:50pm

My prayers and my deepest condolences go out to you and your family. I realize that this is very painful for you. I feel that you need to give yourself permission to talk about him, express your feelings, and perhaps look at some pictures and you will find that some of those good memories can turn your tears into laughter. Laughter is good, as it is a good outlet, and believe me when I say, when you do remember something about your relationship with him, and it was funny at that time, don't be afraid to put that smile on your face. It really is ok. Perhaps one day you can sit with a close friend,put on some soft music with a nice cup of tea and just talk about what a wonderful, brave , loving brother he was.

It also could help by seeking a grieve councellor. Try writting him a letter, and putting down everything you would like to have said to him if he was here with you., and things that you would want him to know now. I did that when it was my mom's 2nd anniversary. She had passed away 2 years ago, and I sat a wrote her a long letter, which believe it or not, it was extremely comforting to me and theraputic.

Please let us know when this baby is due and how you are doing? Our prayers and thoughts are with you.

Love, Miriam

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2005
Sun, 04-29-2007 - 6:11pm
Thank you everyone for commenting to my post. Reading what everyone has written has meant a lot to me. Thank you. Our baby is due any day now. Hopefully, this birth will bring a little happiness to my family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2005
Sun, 04-29-2007 - 6:27pm

(((((Countrychica))))))

I am so glad that we were all able to say a little something to you that perhaps would ease your pain. Please let us all know when this little bundle has arrived. I am sure that this baby will definitley bring you and your family lots of joy, happiness and loads of smiles.

Remember that your brother will be with you in spirit. Good luck and we will all be waiting anxiously to hear the good news.

Our thoughts will be with you.

Love , Miriam

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