20,000 Posts of Love and Suppport

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
20,000 Posts of Love and Suppport
4
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 5:53pm

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On Wednesday this board had its 20,000th post.  For it to come in this particular week, at a time of enormous national and indeed world sorrow, makes it a bittersweet achievement.  However, that characterizes the nature of our board.


Unlike many boards which hold challenges when they approach a milestone, we simply allowed this to unfold as the need arose. 


These 20,000+ posts have allowed people to probe the depths of their pain in a safe place where they will not be judged.  They have been able to ask questions in a place where no one will laugh at them.  We have heard stories about ways people have been aware of the continuing presence of beloved individuals who have passed on. 


We have wept, we have smiled or chuckled, we have vented our anger, we have expressed our fears.  There is always someone else who can identify with our feelings.


We have shared tips about getting through the next day or hour.  We have reminded one another to care for ourselves each day in the most basic ways.  We have offered ideas for helping another person who has lost someone dear to them.  From time to time we have supported an individual who is grieving some other kind of loss in their life. 


Some of us have come to know others not only as fellow mourners but as friends, forming relationships that go beyond this board.  I personally marvel at the wisdom and honesty to be found here.  This place is a microcosm of what I wish the world might be, a place of humility, respect, and compassion.


* * *


In the past couple weeks I have gone back through the archives reading some of the posts from previous years.  This board was created in 1999 as the result of a merger of at least two other boards.  The first post since the merger is #1210.  We are now up to 4834!  That number represents threads posted.  Many, of course, have multiple replies.


My next post in this thread will be a repeat of one of the earlier messages which I think many of you will find helpful.

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AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 5:58pm

A Post from 2001


Update,,had my first councelling session


Hi all, first of all I feel a little better. At least for today. (Gotta be happy for each "good day") I cried buckets while the counceler from hospice was here, but it felt good to have someone really listen. Some of the things he said that really hit home are related to the first year. He said that one of the reasons the first year is so hard is that we feel compelled to keep count. Exp: 1rst Tues without her, 1rst month, 1rst holiday, 1rst birthday etc. Which is true. I started out my journey as the first night on earth in 50 years without her. I knew that it would be hard without her, I just couldn't imagine it would be this hard. The other point that really struck home with me is that everyone gives lectures instead of comfort and compassion. He said you could compare it to people without children giving advice about raising "your" children. Perfect...example. I was concerned that I am feeling worse now at 2months past her death than even the beginning days without her. He said that is because I have "used up" all my distractions. I told him about the help I get here on this board and he encouraged me to continue. Also he said to use my friends as a distraction...for listening and for engaging in activities. Some of the other distractions were to "surround myself with living things", and not to "close off the grief". In other words busy busy is good, but eventually I will have to face it. I told him I couldn't bear to empty her refrigerator. Its like going into a time warp to open it. Coke half drank, popsicles in cups...leftover soup...ugh..breaks my heart. He said there was no reason I had to empty that refrigerator and torture myself...I could have a friend do it. The other thing that I am stressed about is sending out the thank you cards. I can't bear to write them, its like proclaiming and reafirming her death. He said if it was so hard for me, and no one else to help....just forget it close friends and family would understand. I feel better about that. I always agonize over doing the right thing. This time, I just don't want to do it. Make sense? Sorry this is so long, but I feel better and wanted to share Love Nancy

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AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 8:29pm

Barb


Thank you for all you do on this board.


This post is awesome.


Could you email me how you found it. I know you did before, but I need step by step instructions LOL


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 9:01pm

da* we're good. Just a little humor ladies!!!!!lol Seriously, I want to thank Barb and Beth for all they do to help keep us together. I want to thank all the wonderful ladies for being there when someone needs them. This is truly a soft place to land and a very special place to come to. Thank you all

Love to all
Gail
xoxoxoxoxo

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2005
Sat, 04-21-2007 - 8:11pm

First of all, I want to take this time to thank you, Barb and Beth for everything that you do here on this board to keep everyone together. I also want to not only thank you two wonderful women, but all the other women on this board aswell, for all their time, support and their fantastic words of comfort to help others in their need.

God Bless you all!!!

Love , Miriam

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