Two big motherless days coming up...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
Two big motherless days coming up...
4
Fri, 05-11-2007 - 4:56pm

Hi folks. I haven't been here in awhile. I haven't felt a need to. I have handled the death of my mother last year pretty well I think. But, Sunday is Mother's day, and just about four days after that will be the first anniversary of her death.

I have been seeing a therapist lately to deal with some problems I have had with my bipolar disorder, and she suggested I do something to commemmorate my mother during this time. I think I have settled on something. Shortly after she died, a favorite priest of mine said that she is definitely in Heaven and I should pray to her. I haven't done much of that over the past year. So, maybe on Mother's day and maybe on the anniversary of her death, I am going to have a long private conversation with her.

Is that a good idea?

I will have a different sort of celebration on Mother's day. It just so happens it is my DH's and my first wedding anniversary

Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Fri, 05-11-2007 - 7:41pm

Hi Beth


It is Beth...I think a conversation with your Mom sounds WONDERFUL!!!


I am glad your counselor seems to have a good sense of grief also.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2007
Fri, 05-11-2007 - 8:45pm

Hi...
This time of year is so hard. My mother past away on Motheres Day last year so I am facing many of the same things you are. Though I suppose last year was sort of the first year with out her. I -unlike you- am still unsure of how to get through that day and how to comemorate her.

Your post almost sounds hopeful about your plan. I wish you luck with it.. i hope it helps you find peace.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2005
Sat, 05-12-2007 - 2:50pm

Hi Sweetie,

I think that having a private converstion to your mom is a great idea. I also have another idea for you, as when my mom's 2nd anniversary came up in Jan. I sat down and wrote her a long letter, and I must say it was very calming, therapuctic and it felt so good to get everything down what I wanted to say to her. I wrote everything down that has happened in the past two years that she was not here with us, wrote about my feelings, and I have to tell you that I never thought that it would make me feel so much better, but it did.

I remember when my dad passed away, my mother wrote to him every so often. She used to sit with me and read some of her letters and even some potery that she wrote about him. What a wonderful way to remember and keep our loved ones alive.

So, good luck to you and a very happy anniversary to you and your husband.

Love, Miriam

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
Sat, 05-12-2007 - 4:04pm

Sending you lots of hugs Beth!


Many of us have similar feeling this time of year. My Mom died 3 years ago on May 11th, so I also feel the sadness.


Talking to your Mom is a great idea! Whenever I feel extra sad and missing my Mom more than usual, I 'talk' with her. I often feel like she is right there with me.


What I decided to do was plant a special rose bush, in her memory. It is just now starting to regenerate, after a long Winter and when it blooms, it makes me smile. I usually take some of the first blossoms to the cemetery, to share with her.


Happy Anniversary to you and your Dh!

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