heartbroken

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2007
heartbroken
8
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 10:39am
i've just lost the only boy i ever loved...we were going to get marred...evrything was ready. i am devastated.please help me deal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
In reply to: beckfear
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 1:43pm

(((hugs)))

I'm sorry about your loss. So very sorry.

I lost my boyfriend, my first love, in November of '06. It's almost been 7 months since he left me. He was 20 years old. Every day is difficult and I miss him more than words can express...

I understand the intense pain that comes from losing someone you love so much. It's an indescrible pain that you feel throughout your entire body and soul. Life doesn't feel like it will ever be "ok" and nothing anyone can say will make it better.

The initial stages of grief are the hardest... you cycle through such a wide range of emotions. Anger, deep sadness, longing, denial, guilt... all of it. These feelings come and go. It's perfectly normal to feel all of those emotions. Sometimes it's hard to sleep and eat and even harder to breathe.

Take it moment by moment, let yourself feel all of those emotions. Take good care of yourself, drink a lot of water and eat when you can. Try to get out and get some exercise too. Everything feels so overwhelming and sometimes its hard to even remember to drink.

But, one of the best things you can do for yourself right now is rely on others to listen to you and be there for you. No one will be able to feel what your feeling, your relationship was special and private, but your friends and family love you and want to help. Talk to them as much as you can, let your feelings out whether through writing or talk aloud. Always know the women on this board understand grief and the process of grieving for someone you love so deeply. We are here to listen and offer our advice as much as possible.

Feel free to post how you are feeling, thoughts you are having, or about your boyfriend. We'd love to hear about him.

If you like you can email me through my profile...

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2007
In reply to: beckfear
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 2:04pm
hi razski...thanks for your post. plz accept my deepest condolences for your loss...
i met my guy in college...i was 18, n so was he.we'd been gong out ever since...we really lved each other...we were supposed to marry this year...i've got the most beautiful dress...its very hard to go on razski...and i cant share this with anyone around me as i'm not a very open person...thanks for being there ((hugs))
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
In reply to: beckfear
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 6:59pm

I understand, believe me.

Have you thought about possibly talking to a bereavement counsilor? I know the idea of talking to a counsilor can seem rather awkward, I was never one to picture myself receiving therapy. But after my loss and the circumstances surrounding my loss, I decided to see one.

It's hard being so young and losing someone you love... there arn't many of us young adults who loss a boyfriend that way. I felt awkward talking to friends and I felt like I was burdening them. So my parents found me a bereavement counsilor. I still see him, and it's been almost 6 months now. I go just about every 2 weeks. We talk about the process of grief, my feelings, my fears, and I get to talk about my boyfriend, remembering the good times!

At first it was hard to open up to him but now I look forward to going and speaking with him. He said I can keep coming as long as I feel that I need to.

You can find services through hospice, perhaps even a church. They are set up to deal with these sorts of things and they can find you someone you feel comfortable with.

I promise you, there will be days when you don't feel like you can go on... but you can and you will. It's hard and it's a struggle every day... but slowly and surely life becomes easier.

((hugs))

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
In reply to: beckfear
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 3:25pm

Hi, (((((Beckfear))))).

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2007
In reply to: beckfear
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 6:27pm
i lost my boyfriend as well in a semi accident we both were in it together.to make along story short i was in critical condition for 2 days and suffered multiple injuries,lung contusions and broken back nearly died myself.when i came to they had told me my boyfriend passed and i lost it.it will be a year this weekend he died on 06/22/06 and i still have a hard time getting through the day.im on medication for ptsd and i have degenerating disc disease..i miss everything about him .i was in love and i still cannot shake it...just ask GOD for strength and look to your family..seek professional help and i am always one that you can talk to..i knw how you feel.be strong
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
In reply to: beckfear
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 6:47pm

(((((Ivil_dmarie))))), I'm so glad you have sought professional help.

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2007
In reply to: beckfear
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 5:37pm
thanks so much for that link for ptsd...i checked it out...i would just like everyone to know that im here for them...i know how devastsating it can be to lose someone ...i lost my fiancee and its very hard to get by everyday... faith and knowing GOD makes no mistakes gets me by....i know we will meet again....
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2003
In reply to: beckfear
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 9:59pm
Sending ((((hugs)))) and prayers.....so very sorry for your loss. You've already received some wonderful advice. I love this place, and I am sure you will find much comfort here. You'll make it. Like the others have said, just take it moment by moment, then hour by hour, and soon you will be making those moments and hours into days. (((hugs)) Hang in there. It's been two years for me, and I think I'm finally at the day by day point. It's slow going, but you will make it!