Deeply saddened still
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| Tue, 07-10-2007 - 12:47pm |
Hi everyone, It has been a while since I posted. I have been feeling so down lately when its suppose to be one of the most exciting times in my life. I am getting married in two weeks. since my Mom's death right at Christmas time I have been putting a lot of energy into planning my wedding. I know this may sound strange, but, I am scared for my wedding to be over because I feel like then I will have to confront my loss. Everyone keeps telling me my Mom will be there at the wedding in spirit. I know that too but its just not the same. I want her there with me. I will be honoring her memory during the ceremony and I am scared that I might just brake down right there. Does anyone have any advice for me?
Melissa
You can use almost any measure when you’re speaking of success. You can measure it in a fancy home, expensive car or dress. But the measure of your real success is one you cannot spend – It’s the way your child describes you when talking to a friend. – MartÃn Baxbaum

Hello again, Melissa.
Hi Melissa
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I would, if I were you, try to fit in a call to Hospice between getting all the plans finalized.
I would also tell your fiance your fears and I bet he will reassure you that he loves you and if you break down a
((((((Melissa))))))
I first want to wish you all the best of luck and happiness on your special day. I definitely can relate to what you are going through, as my mom is gone now 2 years and there as been many occassions where I did not have her with me. My heart was broken, but I knew aswell, that on those special days, my mom would not tolerate me to be sad. She was a women who always had positive thoughts. She knew how to take a bad situation, sad sitution and turn it into something good. So on those days I thought of her, and said , that she was looking down on us and expected all of us to have a great time which we did.
This being your wedding day which is a very special and important day of your life, I could understand what you are going through. I think that it is of the utmost importance to be able to talk about your mom, your feelings of not having her there with you, as I believe that you need to get this all out. It helps to talk about it, it is also theraputic to write down how you are feeling. What I did was a wrote to my mom on several different occassons and believe it or not, it was very helpful to me. Also, perhaps you can try speaking to a bereavement councellor, as I think and this is my opinion that you have put a wall up and you are not allowing yourself to go through this grieving process.
When is your wedding day scheduled for? My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please keep intouch.
(((((((hugs))))) Miriam
My advice to you is to go with the emotion. If when you honor her at your wedding you break down there isn't a single person in that church who would blame you. That church will be filled with family and friends who most of them knew your Mom or knows you well enough to know that this loss is still fresh. If you break down do NOT put the pressure on yourself to feel bad about it. That would only complicate things for you and you deserve to have the most lovely of days.
Cry sweetie when you feel like crying whether its in the middle of the ceremony or if its in private. These are true emotions that need to be released and it isn't a dishonor to your mother or your future husband to express them. Just remember to not be so hard on yourself when it happens.
Congratulations and I hope your day is perfect.
Kiki