Loss of Son
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Loss of Son
| Mon, 07-16-2007 - 4:58pm |
My only child, a 20-year-old son passed away 4th of July. Someone sold him Oxycotin, he fell asleep and never woke up. I went to wake him up on the couch for the 4th of July celebration and he was dead. It has been almost two weeks and I feel numb. All I can do is cry. I feel anger until the police get the two people who sold it to him. I feel anger that he bought something in the first place. He was my life. I hadn't dated in 15 years because all I wanted was to have him get his life together. He was gorgeous, sweet, loved his Mom and now I feel like there is nothing left. My name is Susie. I live in Allen, Texas and am 55 years old in a few days. He didn't do it on purpose. He graduated 5 weeks ago and I buried him in his graduation gown. I guess I am rambling but I look forward to getting and giving support here. Thank you. Susie

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I am sorry, there are no task bars below either one of my posts unless I need new glasses.
help
Honey, under every post there is a line of words.
I am missing something.
All I see is the line of post replies beneath
then messages in discussion,
then how I
What am I missing?
Louise
Okay!
I appreciate your helpful suggestions.
Thank you for your correction here. I certainly meant to recommend valerian. One would never find valium in a health food store.
God forbid.
I appreciate your correction.
Louise
I am so sorry for your loss. I at least had a little warning because I knew Jordan had been taking Xanax and I kept telling him if you mix it with something, it could be deadly and he said he had a high tolerance. We had gone to rehab. He was so charming, great dresser, very handsome and was able to convince the doctors after three days that he was just fine and had learned his lesson. I just got the death certificate two days ago and it was Diazepam and Darvocet which he had a prescription for. He got the Oxycodone from a drug dealer and that was the fatal mixture.
That is a great suggestion about writing down a notebook of memories. I am so scared that I will forget so many things and I don't want to. I took lots of pictures and diaries over the years so I hope that will help me create something to look back on over the years. I was 34 when I had Jordan so I waited quite a while to have a child. NOw I'm 55 and very sad that there will be no future with grandchildren as I see my sister enjoying her two so much.
Walking is a help for sure so will keep that up. Again I am just so sorry for your loss of your son. I know the pain you are feeling and my prayers are with you.
Susie
Please take care of yourself and believe it is not your fault. We are all connected here and in spirit form. Love, leila
xango-leila,
I wish i could have found someone to treat him that wouldn't just keep giving him more drugs. I wish I could have made it till July 5th when he was going to check into rehab but he died July 4th. Just one more day and it would have helped him. It has been eight weeks and at times it seems an eternity. I just cannot get it through my head he is really gone despite counseling, Compassionate Friends, Griefnet, here. My brain just doesn't get it. I look at his obituary online I guess just to confirm to myself it's really true.
You are in a good field that needs people like you so badly in our country. I know your job has to be stressful but it must be rewarding when you can see signs of growth and recovery.
Thanks for writing.
Susie
Suzie,
You are not supposed to know he is gone now. Some women set the table for 2 for a long time even tho their husbands are dead. You are in shock. Have you joined a group to be with other people who have lost someone they love?
How's your spiritual side, I don't believe he is gone, I don't believe there is death, we go from one place to the other. Spirit is a different form, that's all. he is just spared the density of the body. He is with you when you think of him, he wants you to be happy and to keep going forward.
Do you ever feel him with you? Love and hugs, Leila
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