PLZ let me know if I'm normal/loser?
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PLZ let me know if I'm normal/loser?
| Sat, 07-21-2007 - 4:13am |
Is this normal behaviour. This afternoon I was having a sleep and I was dreaming that DH and I were at a church, the next thing I know I see Sarah with my ex's parents and then we turned around and I saw Cameron playing. I asked them why they didn't let me see my son and they said because we were hiding him.
I never dreamt about him, maybe once or twice. It like my body was shut off for the last couple years and now I seem to be turned on. I feel such a loser and a horrible person. DH dreamed about him more than I ever had. He must think I never loved him. I woke up crying at being a failure.
Rochelle

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Rochelle,
I just saw your post and wanted to tell you how sorry I am about you losing your son.
I don't think you are abnormal at all. See I too have lost a son and I don't think any parent ever gets over it. We just learn how to deal with the pain and keep putting one foot in front of the other until you look up and time has past. I didn't have dreams of Kevin at first and believe me I begged God to let me see Kevin in a dream. My step-daughter had a dream one afternoon and Kevin came to her and said that if she cried he would leave. He said he was fine and very happy but he didn't want us to cry anymore or be sad. So I took it as a sign that I needed to try and not cry so much. I did try but it was very hard because I missed him very much. I have since had a few dreams and there are times where I do believe Kevin is with me. A group that I belong to ( Compassionate Friends)there were many parents that had not had any dreams of their children. I was told by a lady once that we do dream of our loved ones but are not able to remember because it is a way of protecting ourselves from the pain of loss. I don't know if it is true but it makes sense to me. I am truly sorry for your loss, if I can help please let me know how.
Deborah
oh no Rochelle you didn't offend me in any way.
(((((Chubbywife79)))))))
In my opinon, you are definitely not a looser nor are you not normal. There are many people who have lost their loved ones and do not dream about them, and that doesn't mean that they didn't love them. I am very sure that you love your son Cameron and he knew how much his mom loved and cared for him. The statement about you asking why they didn't let me see my son and their response was because we were hiding him, lets me interpet that statement as you feeling guilty for not dreaming about Cameron more often.
Sweetie, you do not have to dream about him to love him, you have him in your thoughts and in your heart. You always loved him and you will continue to love him and he will be with you in spirit.
Miriam
Thanks for letting me know I'm normal. I'm also glad to know I'm not the only one. I just didn't want to upset anybody here.
Hugs Rochelle
Rochelle sweetie,
The women here on this board are very understanding, caring, compassionate, and supportive, and there is no way that you could upset anyone here. It is you that was upset and thats why we are here for you, as we are for each other and other people who are going through difficult times. Please always feel free to post whenever you feel the need.
(((((((hugs))))))
Miriam
Your post touched me so,
I pray that you will ind grace and comfort. Most of all I pray that you will not punish yourself anymore. You have suffered a great loss. The mind and heart do what they think you can handle. maybe you dream less because you are not ready. Trust in your own pace. Your boy knows how much you loved him, how else would you be able to feel so much now. May God bless and keep you.
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