Missing Mom a lot today
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 07-22-2007 - 11:20pm |
My mom's friends are having a memorial service for her, as yesterday was 6 months since her death.
I had told them that I made some layouts (I scrapbook) about her from my wedding and her life. I wanted to try and make some more, but tonight, I just broke down, tears welling up. I miss her terribly and want to hug her so much. I tried working on that scrapbook right after she died and for a few weeks, thinking it would help. It did, but then it got really painful to look at her pictures. The ones from her childhood aren't as painful but the ones of her being so happy, and more recent ones (even where she looks sick) are so hard to look at and so painful.
It's really amazing how grief just overcomes you. It's gonna be a little scary tomorrow, as I haven't really seen many of these people since she died, and the ones that might not know her as well, I think might ask me questions about what happened. Her death was quite traumatic, as well as shocking for me and I don't think I want to live through that day again. So, I wonder what I will say. Can I say that that night was extremely painful and I don't want to talk about that part? I just don't want to seem rude. Even part of me doesn't want to go to it b/c of this very reason--reliving the details, crying all over again, but at the same time, mom deserves me to respect her--like it's my duty b/c other than my stepdad I will be the only family going there!
Just kind of venting, sharing my feelings.
I'll share the links of the LO's I did of her at my wedding.....
http://twopeasinabucket.kaboose.com/album_display.asp?album_id=64039#
http://twopeasinabucket.kaboose.com/album_display.asp?album_id=64039#
http://twopeasinabucket.kaboose.com/pg.asp?cmd=display&layout_id=1097385

Those are great photos.
You can say to nosy, well-meaning people anything you want. I think you put it well...I am still not ready to talk about it is another way.
You do such beautiful work!
((((Sweetheart))))
You are doing great. Yes, the grief can be overcoming, but let it come. Tears make way for happy memories. You will do wonderful at the memorial. Hold your head high and stand straight (Yes, all us moms say that "stand up straight). You have made your mom and your family proud.
I love the pictures.
Love ya
Gail
xoxoxoxo
(((((Sweetie))))
I am so glad things turned out so well. I can even hear the relief and happiness in your post. Your mom is so very proud of you. Keep doing what your doing because it is working for you. Please keep posting to let us know how your doing. We all care.
Love ya
Gail
xoxoxoxo