MY HUSBAND PASSED AWAY
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 07-26-2007 - 11:41am |
Hi i just got the courage today to talk about my husband. I am so sad, angry, depressed, and just cry all the time. My husband of 18 years passed away on june 10, 2007 at 130am in the hospital. He had colon cancer that had spread to the liver, lungs, back and stomach. He was diagoned in 2005 in march. When we found out it the cancer had spread only to the liver. THe doctors right away scheduled surgery to remove the tumor in the colon and right after the recovery of the surgery chemo to kill the cell in the liver. Everything was goin fine, he responded well to the chemo and the tumors and cells were shrinking from the liver. He gained weight and returned to work. In 2006 everything just started to fall apart. He started to have a lot of pain in his back. It was so bad that he could not walk. The doctors send his for a catscan and found out the tumors were not responding to the chemo anymore and grew and that it had spread to his lungs. At that time i was going crazy thinking the worst but the same time holding on to hope that there was going to be a miracle in his body. He continued to work becuase he loved to do it. the doctors tried some new medication and new chemo regimen to see if it worked. It did for a little while but in january of this year he got much worse. He was in lot of pain he was different pain medication, chemo, and anti nausea drugs. His back was always hurting him and his legs will get swollen that he could not stand on them. He was using crutches or a wheelchair. He was in pain day and night and never getting a break from chemo and the side effects. He wanted to live and see his children grow up. He was fighting so hard just to stay alive and he never gave up hope. He always had hope and believed that a miracle was goin to happen. Two days before he passed he told he that heloved me and his boys that he was glad that i was there for him in everyway imaginable he was grateful for me and the help i provided for him. He told me not to suffer and not to cry anymore because he was going to a better place. We said our goodbyes and he lost consciousness and 2 days later he died.
I miss him so much. I wish he was here. But i know he is not suffering anymore he is happy now
But i still miss him, i just want to hold him one more time in my arms and kiss him. I cant take this horrible pain anymore. But i have to continue for the precious gifts he left me our two boys. I want things to be like they use to but that is never going to be. Know i just left with the memories and our love that will continue on as long as i live and knowing that he will live through our boys.
love maria

I am so sorry about your husband!
CO-CL to Stress and Women, Bereavement and Healing,
My deepest condolences to you and your children on the loss of your beloved husband and their wonderful father. I am so sorry that he had to go through such an awful ordeal. He was a very courgeous man. May the wonderful memories of him help you through your difficult time.
Give yourself permission to grieve and remember that there is not specfic time table for how long you grieve or how long it takes to heal. You can keep his memory alive by talking about him, looking at pictures with your children, reminising about all the wonderful times you all had together as a family. I do not know how old your children are, but..........maybe you can make a scrap book together and place pictures in it and discuss what happened in that picture and write it underneath that photo.
It definitley isn't easy to loose a loved one, and my heart goes out to you and your children. Know that you are not alone, the women here are wonderful, compassionate, and supportive women who have gone through their own sad times but are always here for others. Their suggestions and advise can be very helpful. So whenever you need to vent or a soft place to fall, you can post here at any time. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
(((((hugs))))))
Miriam
Hi Maria
I am glad you found your way here. I see that capecod already let you know that you are not alone in your grief and pain. She has been there.
Please be welcome here, we will do all we can to help you.
Follow me to my partners in the siggie exchange
follow me to my favorite places on ivillage
Alcohol Problems Board
Our stories are very similar. My husband was diagnosed with cancer in January 2004, and he died June 30, 2005. He left me with a now 9-year-old daughter and a 25 y.o. stepdaughter who I am very close to. We were married for almost 9 years when he died. I still miss him and I still cry sometimes, but it's not as hard as it once was. You'll get there too, but for you, the hard part is probably just starting to hit you right about now. Allow yourself to grieve - I know he said not to cry and not to be sad, but don't deny your feelings because you'll only hurt yourself in the end. And your kids need to know that it's ok to grieve too - they sometimes try to be strong for mom - I know my daughter STILL does.
Blessings,
Maria
Welcome, (((((Maria))))).
Maria - I am so sorry to read about the loss of your husband.
I had mentioned journaling, but actually the important thing is to find some way to express your feelings.
Dear Maria,
The replies to your post have wonderful advice and so much compassion in them. I started coming here recently to deal with some sadness in my life. I don't have additional advice or words that will bring comfort now. I just want you to know that my heart goes out to you and all the wonderful women here who are warriors and survivors in grief. I will hold you and your kids in my prayers. Hang on dear, there will be a day when solace will hug your heart.