MY FRIEND BABY PASSED AWAY

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
MY FRIEND BABY PASSED AWAY
4
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 9:39am
Hi everyone as you all may know I lost my husband to cancer in june. I sad, angry and upset. On August 12th my friends' baby drowned in her backyard pool. He was only 2. He would have turned two on August 15th. She went to work and told her husband to watch the baby as she did so many times. He was taking care of some chores in the house and left the baby outside in the backyard to play. When he came out a few minutes later to check on the baby he was already in the bottom of the pool. He called 911 but it was too late.
The baby arrived at the hospital dead. The thing is she works at the same hospital were they brought the baby. She was screaming when they told her the baby was gone. All she do now is hold the baby pacifier and his blanket and stares into space. I feel this accident could have avoided you dont under no circumstances leave a baby unsupervised anywhere espeically were there is water were they could drown. It only takes a few seconds for something tragic to happen.
I feel so bad for her. Im greiving myself for my husband. I dont know what to say to her.
I tried talking to her but she is in a state of shock staring into space and just saying she want her baby back.
Today is the baby wake. I going to stay with her. Since right now she hates her husband and is blaming him for the babys' the death. She dont want to live in her house anymore and want her husband to leave.
Can anyone tell what to say or what to do for her now. I like i said im greiving for my husband also and i'm overwhelmed with everything but i dont want to abandon her.
She has a sister staying with her but she wants me there too. Pleas help
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 2:45pm

My heart is broken for you and your friend. Can I suggest that you muster up the courage to spend some time with this woman. Things happen for a reason and just maybe your courage to sit with her will help you with your own grief? I don't want to imply that your beautiful baby died to help you but it's happened and there is always a way to find the good in everything that happens. She needs you so desperately and has no one to turn to. The one person she trusted the most, her husband, is the one person she hates the most at this time. The pain he must be feeling must be intense and how he will find the strength to forgive himself will be short of a miracle.

Do what you need to do but I would highly recommend that you spend some time with her and cry with her. Shed the tears that will heal both your hearts.

I wish you much luck and I will pray for both of you.

Kiki

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 4:34pm

Just hold her hand, give her hugs, make sure she stays hydrated...don't force her to do anything she can't handle.



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 10:10pm

Honey,

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2004
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 9:51pm

Misery loves company.

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