Is this normal?
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Is this normal?
| Wed, 08-29-2007 - 10:25pm |
My father passed away in Dec. I handled it OK. But now I want to spend all my time with my husband. I want to know where he is, what he is doing and everything about his day. I am obsessed with him.I am getting on his nerves. It is like I don't trust him but I do trust him. Am I afraid of losing him like I did my father? I love him very much and he loves me. These feelings have been going on since May and my father died in Dec. of 2006. Has anyone felt this way before?

Goodness yes-that doesn't mean that formal help isn't called for.
~Kiervin~
Co-author of: MONSTER'S INK HORROR ANTHOLOGY By Cyber-Pulp Press
Hi! Welcome
Normal...YOU BET! After losing someone it is so normal to be afraid of losing someone else. I remember when my mother died, my cousin's little girl IMMEDIATELY made the connection and asked when her own grandma was going to die.
I know that I have had periods after losing Mama and then after losing my sister, that I needed my DH to call even if he was just going to be a little late.
I would suggest that you do check out some grief counselling. Normal as those feelings are, I know that anything that consumes my thoughts like that can hurt my relationship also.
First of all I would like to take this time to welcome you to this board where you will find the women here very understanding and supportive. You asked the question,"is this normal?" and my answer to that is "definitely." You have lost a very close and dear person in your life and now you are afraid to loose another loved one.
When my mom passed away, my grandson of 4 years of age said that he didn't want papa to die, who is my husband. He is very close to him and was fearful that he would loose him aswell.
I would suggest that you seek some counselling as you do not want to spend the rest of your life consuming those thoughts and smoothering aswell as hurting your relationship with your husband. It is fine to take interest in his day but when it is overdone it can be harmful. Perhaps you can sit with him and try to explain your actions so that he understands that it isn't because you don't trust him, but because you are afraid of loosing him as you did your dad. Communication is very important in a relationship.
So good luck, let us know how you are doing. My thoughts are with you.
Miriam