My Husband Died
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| Fri, 01-04-2008 - 10:50pm |
Hi, I am new to the board, although I have been reading a great deal of posts. My husband passed away 4/16/07. We were married for 30 years. He was sick for a very long time. For the last 5 years I was his care giver.
I am so lost without him. Part of my soul is missing. During the day I can pretty much keep my feelings in tact, and not go around blubbering. At night it is the hardest. I lay beside this man for 30 years and now he is gone.
I knew he would not be with me long. He was so sick and in so much pain. At least he is no longer in pain. On the last, sometimes he didn't know me which would break my heart. You can never prepare your self for the loss of a spouse.
Now I get up everyday and wonder why I bother. Nothing is important without him to share it with. I am a care giver for my Mother. She has been with me for the past 2 months. I love having her, she keeps me busy during the day.
Some may think this is crazy, but I still tell him good night every night and good morning every day. I was in counseling for a while but all it did was make me cry and not want to stop.

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CO-CL to Stress and Women, Bereavement and Healing,
Thanks for your response. I cannot get rid of the bed. When I lay in the spot where my husband did, I have a very comforting feeling. It's as if he has his arms around me. My husband died at home in my arms in the very same spot I lay in now. I just can't turn my mind off at night.
We have a total of 3 kids. Our oldest lives in Arkansas, our daughter was killed in a train/auto crash at age 22, eight years ago, our youngest moved back home with us, to help me take care of his father.
Oh, I am sitting here crying for you as I feel your pain!
You will get through this.
Thanks for your kind words and support.
(((((hon,))))
My deepest condolences on the loss of your dear husband. I have lost many people in my life, and thank God I still have my precious husband who is my best friend, and he is my soul mate. I could never imagine me with out him. So I could only try to imagine what you are going through.
Perhaps the councellor you were with was not the right one for you. There are many good concellors around but one may be good with one person and may not be good with another. I would suggest that you look into finding another councellor.
I know from when my father passed away 28 years ago, that the nights were the worst for my mom. She had a hard time dealing with the fact that he was not with her any longer. What my mom used to do, was sit down and write my dad letters and poems. When my mom passed away it is going to
Thank you for posting. I thank you so much for the idea of writing letters to my husband. I am going to try that I believe.
I am going to my husband's grave tomorrow. I haven't been since he died. I am dreading it but something is pulling me there. The military plaque has been set. We have been waiting since April. My husband told me if he died before me I was to make sure he received his military burial, and his plaque. I guess that is why the urge to go there is so strong. There is nothing as sad and moving as Taps.
I think that once you are at his graveside you may feel a bit better. I know that you are nervous about going, but....this may be a closesure for you.If you feel like something is pulling you there, it just may be that you need to go and say your good byes. Remember sweetie, saying goodbye, does not mean you are going to forget. He will always be with you in your heart and in your memories. What ever happy occasions arise, where you would wish he was there,
How are you doing? Please let me know.
I am so sorry to here about your loss and pain. It has really been a rough month for me. My Dad's birthday was Feb. 2. He passed away March 4th 2002. My daughter will be dead 9 years on Feb. 22nd. I visited my husband's grave site, and have been all tears since. So I can understand your pain.
4 months, that is forever when you have lost someone. I have no idea how I have made it this far myself. Sometimes I just wanted to curl up in a ball and die. I am not religious in the since I go to church on Sunday, nor do I profess to be a Christian, but I do believe in God. I have been asked so many times if my husband
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