My Husband Committed Suicide
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| Wed, 04-16-2008 - 11:07pm |
I lost my husband a week and a half ago to suicide. We were happy and our life seemed to be getting better and better, then after minor bickering he went into another room, yelled out I love you, and then I heard the gun. You can only imagine the pain I suffered when I ran down there and found him. Seeing him that way was more than anyone should have to bear and those pictures keep flooding back into my mind.
My husband was not the type anyone would have ever thought would do such a thing. Even I never thought he would do something like that. Being as such not only have I endured the heart wrenching pain of losing him, but his family is trying to claim that I shot him and spreading this vicious rumor around to anyone that they can. The way they acted at the funeral was ruthless and unforgivable.
I am hurting so badly right now and then not having the support of so called family and friends have made it worse. I keep wondering how I will make it through each day as each day is agony for me.
I keep trying to lean on the Lord to find comfort, but my life is so in a shambles right now and I can't stop the tears from constantly flowing.
I am hoping to hear how others have coped in situations like this.
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I am sorry for you, how painful and tragic!
I am so sorry for your loss. My eldest sister's husband took his life in the same manner nearly 5 years ago, and no one knows why. He always seemed happy, not a care in the world. The hardest part was having my 2 nephews (12 & 15 y/o's)
I am so sorry for your loss. My husband committed suicide on October 27, 2007. I found him after he had shot himself as well - I know all about the horrible images and dreams that you are having. And about the anger and guilt and desperation. I wish I had the magic words to help, but there isn't any. I struggle every day. Some days are better than others. In the beginning, they are all bad, but eventually you will have more and more good days. The first year is hard, because everything is the "first" with out him. This is my first Mother's Day alone, and I've cried for 2 solid days. But I know, eventually - I will feel better again. And you can't allow yourself to feel guilty on the days you do feel better.
I will tell you the most important thing you can do is get professional help. We have a 10 y/o son - and I started him in counseling immediately, but didn't do anything for my self for a while and that was a big mistake. The counseling does help. Also, you can go to www.survivorsofsuicide.com - this is a site for people who have lost loved ones to suicide. They also have support groups - you can find a chapter near you --- it helps to talk to people who are going (or have gone) through the same thing as you. The people that I met in my support group became a life-line to me.
I've spent countless hours trying to figure out what my husband was thinking, how he felt, what could have made him feel so desperate and alone. The truth is - I will never know, no matter how hard I try to figure it out. The one thing that I read some where that I hold on to is: "For the person you lost, the pain is over. Now, it is time to strat healing yours." I believe with all my heart that my husband is in a better place, and he doesn't suffer or worry any more. The hard part is for me and our son to carry on without him. I normally wouldn't give my email address out - but I feel we could probably both benefit from talking to each other. If you need someone to talk to that understands exactly what you are going through, please feel free to email me at gwd0170@hotmail.com
I am so very sorry for all that you are going through.
my husband committed suicide 7 months ago.... I hurt so bad and my heart is BROKEN I MISS HIIM SO MUCH.... I HATE MY LIFE WITH OUT HIM.... IT JUST SUCKS... ITS DARK AND BLEAK AND HARD TO BREATH MOST DAYS....
I am so sorry Bridget, my husband died 5 months ago in an auto accident so although it wasn't suicide, it was sudden with no warning and a HUGE shock to my system.
If you haven't already, please see a very good grief counselor and seek out supportive understanding family and friends.
I am so very sorry for your loss and for it to happen in such a dreadful manner and
~hugs~
<3
I am very sorry for you and your loss. I recommend that
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