I miss my Dad so much...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
I miss my Dad so much...
Sun, 06-27-2010 - 1:25pm

I am 52 years old and my Dad passed away at age 81 suddenly after complications from his first heart attack... I can't believe how painful this has been... While my father led a full life and I am blessed to be so close to him and know that he knew and loved his 5 grandchildren, I still can't believe he is gone. 

He has talked about this day but I felt like he would always be there... I sit with my Mom in their house and expect to see him offering to make us coffee or something...

I know I am supposed to be grateful that I had him for as long as I did... and I know he died suddenly therefore didnt suffer which I am truly thankful for..... I am just not ready to never see him again... I feel immobilized...

What makes matters worse is that he died at the hospital and the cardiac unit that I work on... I am back to work and am reminded CONSTANTLY which is ok for me because I dont ever want to forget him so I dont even try to get him out of my mind...


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2009
Mon, 06-28-2010 - 2:42pm

I am so sorry for your loss. Nothing ever prepares us for the shock of losing the ones we love. Death is part of life but it is a part that will always be hard to deal with.

No words are of much comfort I know but my belief is that when we die we pass into spirit and our souls fly free so that our loved ones stay with us.

In time you will heal and the pain of being in the same place as where your dad passed won't be so hard to bear. It becomes, not better, but easier. I know it took me a long time to go into the hospital where DH passed, still does, but the sense of pain is less. Softer.

Come talk with us, we can't alter what has happened but you can talk with those who do get it, who understand the pain.

In gentleness