I miss my Daddy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2008
I miss my Daddy
4
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 10:17pm

Hi everyone,

I just lost my dad to brain cancer two days before Father's Day. He was 62 years old. We had found out that he had a brain tumor about 16 months before that, while I was 4 months pregnant with my first child. We knew, by the nature of his particular cancer, that the longest we could hope for was 2 years.

It has now been a little over two weeks since he died, and I still feel like this is all a dream. My mother is currently staying with me, and she has been taking this very hard - she is heavily medicated most of the time. I am always comforting my mother (today was their 40 year anniversary) and I feel like I don't get any time to grieve. On top of that, my 11 month old son is teething, so it seems like there is someone crying at my house all of the time, and it is very hard for me to take.

Luckily, I have a terrific husband, but I am afraid for my mother. She has never been alone, and I don't know if she will be able to do it. I have checked for support groups for her, and it seems like they are all off for the summer - none of them in our area start again until September. Don't people die over the summer???

I have been on other message boards on this site, as I had a lot of trouble conceiving my son. I thought that this would be a good, familiar place for me to come back to. I am trying to get through every day, but it is so hard - I feel like my daddy was the glue that held us all together.

I hope I can make some friends here, so we can help each other.

- Christilynn

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2009
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 4:25pm

Hi Cristilynn,
I am so very sorry for your loss and wish you could have been spared this pain. I lost my own DH due to the after effects caused by a brain tumor so I can understand some of what you and your family are going through.

You are still in the very initial stages of grief and that can be so hard to deal with. It will be so hard for all of you but I can tell you that, although it is too early for you ever to even start to believe me, things do get easier. It does take a lot lot of time and the road is a rough one. We can't alter the reasons you have had to post here but you can always be sure that you will always find support from those who understand and will give all the help they can.

In Gentleness

Promise







siggy by hubbswifey...Katie


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 9:50pm

(((Christilynn)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Thu, 07-08-2010 - 6:03am

Hi Christilynn:

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2009
Thu, 07-08-2010 - 4:41pm

Hi Josie,
welcome to the board. I am so very sorry for both your losses.

I think you are right that we all need to stand on our own at some point after bereavement. I think it is also worth bearing in mind that, much as we want to support other family members when we are bereaved, we need to make sure we allow ourselves to mourn our loss too. I think often we try to stay strong for the rest of the family and ignore our own needs. It isn't selfish to let yourself mourn as blocked emotions will only cause us problems later.

Promise







siggy by hubbswifey...Katie