Missing my Buddy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2010
Missing my Buddy
9
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 11:28am
I am new to this site.  Today is not a good day for me as I am approaching the first anniversary of my husband's death tomorrow. We were married for 37 years and have a beautiful family of 2 daughters and 3 grandchildren. We were high school sweethearts and now he's gone. He struggled with colon cancer for several years. I am grateful that he is no longer in pain and hopefully is at peace. This is not what we envisioned for our young golden years or retirement. I try to keep busy most of the time but not today. I don't want to get out of bed, go anywhere, do anything ... Intellectually, I undestand that healing takes time ... but this pain of loss is so overwhelming.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2009
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 3:45pm

~hug~ I am so very sorry for your loss and even more sorry that you have been cheated out of spending those golden years with your DH. I know the pain is hard to bear and the first anniversaries of everything, birthdays, special celebration, etc seem to cut even deeper. It does take time to heal, lots and lots of time, but the wounds will scab over. It gets easier to cope with.

Take tomorrow slowly, mourn as you feel you need to and smile if you can. Yes, the day will be a difficult one so feel us wrapping our virtual arms around you to help you through the day.

In Gentleness
Promise







siggy by hubbswifey...Katie


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2010
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 9:52pm
Thank you for the hugs and kind words.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Sat, 07-24-2010 - 4:50am

I am oh so sorry for your losing your husband a year ago but I am glad you have kids and grandkids to comfort you.


Know that he is in heaven, watching over all of you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2009
Sat, 07-24-2010 - 4:33pm

What a wonderful way to spend the day. I know in my heart you were joined on your walk by DH, every step you took, he was with you.

In gentleness

Promise







siggy by hubbswifey...Katie


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2010
Sun, 07-25-2010 - 7:36pm
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. Despite the heat, my daughters and I walked awhile on my husband's favorite path. We remembered times when we all walked or rode bikes and enjoyed nature together.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2010
Sun, 07-25-2010 - 7:40pm
Thank you. I know he was with us as we remembered better days
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2009
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 4:17pm

~hug~ It will take time, a whole bunch of time, but the happier memories will come more readily than the sad ones. I know we all have differing faiths and beliefs but I am so sure in my own heart and mind that death is only a stepping stone in our journey. I am sure there is more and that we will see our loved ones again. meanwhile I am convinced that they walk with us, their hand on our shoulder, we just can't see them with our physical eyes.

In Gentleness

Promise







siggy by hubbswifey...Katie


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2010
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 10:40pm
The good memories are clearly there, but so are many of the more stressful and difficult memories during his final days.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2009
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 3:27pm

It is hard to not to feel that we have been cheated out of what we thought we would have. We acknowledge all the blessings but there is always that sadness for the things we can not share.
I am so glad that your DH was able to at least see his grandchild but sad that he will not physically enjoy watching him grow.
I wish I could lift the pain from you.
In gentleness

Promise







siggy by hubbswifey...Katie