10 weeks ago today for my Mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
10 weeks ago today for my Mom
3
Sat, 07-24-2010 - 4:59am

HI, I just counted on the calendar, 10 weeks ago today.   I use to call my Mom on saturdays, or fridays if we would be gone on saturday morning, so every week I feel it worse on those days.  My husband asked yesterday what would I like to do this weekend; I said visit Mom, meaning I wished she was still alive.  But hubby gently said not yet meaning I am too young to die and go to heaven.


My sister found a saying in Mom's purse.  Guessing she cut it out from a paper or magazine;  I find myself reading it and trying to live by it.


Here it is:


If I Had My Life to Live Over


I'd dare to make more mistakes next time. I'd relax. I'd limber up. I'd be sillier than I have been this trip. I'd take fewer things seriously. I'd take more chances. I'd take more trips. I'd climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I'd eat more ice cream and less beans. I'd start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I'd go to more dances. I'd ride more merry-go-rounds. I'd pick more daisies. I'd perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.


I tried kayaking for the first time this week, and thought of Mom; not that she would have picked that activity, but to do something in honor of Mom that is no longer here doing things.   Got teary eyed at work yesterday, so took a walk even if it was low 90s and high humidity in central Ohio.


 


My sister is dealing with all the estate stuff, and for the second time we might have buyers for her house, the first set fell through.  I have an empty spot in my heart, and I wish she was here to give me a hug.   I was lucky to be 54, and have my Mom all these years, for that I am grateful.


hugs your loved ones as life is way too short at times.  thanks for listening, Josie



A hug can turn your day around.


The ultimate freedom we have as human beings is the power to select what we will allow our mind to dwell upon.


I am an unique, beautiful, unrepeatable, miracle of God.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2009
Sat, 07-24-2010 - 4:37pm

~hug~ I think that, for your your mom to have that cutting in her purse, really meant something to her. I think that is will also mean something to you as well. I know your mom would want you to live your life to the full. Miss her because that is what you will always do, but celebrate the life that she gave to you by living it fully.

In gentleness

Promise







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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Sat, 07-24-2010 - 6:03pm

Thanks Promise.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2009
Sun, 07-25-2010 - 6:05pm

Hi Josie,
depression on top of bereavement is a hard call. I sometimes think I will never win the battle myself.
I read a lovely poem somewhere and some of the words are stuck in my head. I will see if I can find it as I think you'd also find it comforting.

Promise







siggy by hubbswifey...Katie