loss of virginity question

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
loss of virginity question
1
Sat, 09-06-2003 - 3:36am
I have a question and there is abusive things implied, so if you are sensitive, please go to the next discussion.








I was abused as a small child between the ages of 5 and 7 and maybe after age 10. My question is if I was penetrated at that time, would I have bled during my first adult consentual act at the age of 16? Or was my abuser slick and got around it just by anally? I don't remember all of the abuse that happened to me as a child, I blocked it out. As I am 29 now, and I have kids, it is starting to come back to me and I need this piece of information so that I have what information I might need to try to persue criminal charges if I can.

Also, this causes me to be sexually disfunctional and to block out the good relations I do have now and that I cannot stop blacking out as I get closer and closer to orgasm. What sort of professional should I seek for this? GYN or SHRINK? The memories pop into my head during sometimes and I have to stop which is unfair to him.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Love Missie, Davey 10/12/97 hosp birth 1 mo early, Lainie 01/15/02 hosp birth 3 days late and Ella 06/10/03 unassisted birth on time- cord prolapse I love Unassisted Childbirth :) http://pages.ivillage.com/hafpint_74
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 09-07-2003 - 8:30am
Hi hafpint...

First, it sounds like you are starting to take control of your history - and that's great! I'm no expert, but have a feeling that doing it will go a long way in healing...

Unfortunately though, there's no easy answer to your question about the bleeding. Lots of women don't bleed the first time, so there's really no reliable indication if you didn't bleed. And sometimes we do bleed - if your hymen was perforated, or if a little menstrual tissue was expelled (can happen even outside your period in some circumstances). Another reasonable circumstance is that he did attempt vaginal penetration, but wasn't able to fully achieve it - in which case you may still have had some hymenal tissue intact. So really, its not that much more reliable a sign if you *did* bleed either.

As for gyn vs shrink - that's up to you...going to the gynecologist first to rule out medical stuff may be smart - and then if you feel like counseling will be beneficial to you, by all means go for it. If you haven't already done so, you may also want to look into the statue of limitations in your state for any applicable offenses...its unfortunate, but in many cases there is a time limit for prosecution.

Much luck to you!

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